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EvilActivity last won the day on June 6

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About EvilActivity

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    Posting Freak
  • Birthday 05/02/1987

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    Austin, Texas
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    IMVU, Vampire freaks, Domino and chess Tournaments, Softball, Surfing, the museum of hoaxes, Victorian novels, Esti, Busting fakes.
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  1. oui... i see some conflicting things already as it seems this person is trying to connect DEPRESSION to Emo. i mean a huge percentage of emo's already do that anyway, they already think they can connect mental instabilities and anti social tendencies or a misfit/loner mindset to an AESTHETIC because a lot of young people are STUPID like that but still... the more people do this, the more the ignorance gets spread.
  2. -Bump- well yes i figured since Dahvie is relevant again i'd bump this. oh some of the replies here sure didn't age well.
  3. I just had the pleasure of revisiting Yahoo! Answers and…my mind has been so thoroughly blown. It’s like a giant middle/high school “study hall” (or whatever they call it these days) of tweens and teens flapping their gums on inane subjects. The only difference being that these teenagers are coming across as more mind-bogglingly stupid than I could ever have imagined (mostly due to text type). If these are the future leaders of earth, I think I’m done. Seriously, I’m getting a shovel and digging a hole to stick my arrogant head into and folding my metaphorical poker-hand because shit is u.g.l.y. out there. I also want to state that yes, this isn’t really a fair post; it’s like shooting quadraplegic puppies in a barrel (that’s just an awful analogy, I apologize for that). I understand teenagers are mostly stupid because, well…they have no experience with anything; it’s not completely their fault. But I feel like an example needs to be made anyway, and maybe these kids will think twice before they post questions that make my 2 year old foster child look smart by comparison. The following are a sample of the questions I saw, trailed by the replies I gave to these nuggets of fucked-up inquisitiveness. 1.) Is it possible for a spell (yes, you read that correctly, spell) to make you pregnant? Before I get to the reply, I understand she’s probably 13 or somewhere close (I hope), but shit!- really? I can’t fathom the level of ignorance her parents must have in order to breed a girl who obviously believes Harry Potter is non-fiction. But because of her age (possible age), I kept my response to sarcastic, and not flat out mean. Reply: Oh no…please tell me you did the correct spell!! There is another invocation that is similar to the pregnancy one, except instead of a baby, this one fills your stomach full of stupidity. If you do not do the reverse spell within one lunar cycle (the next full moon), I’m sorry to say, but you will become a giant ball of ‘stupid’. Once the spell has completely finished its process (after the next full moon), you will become stuck on stupid for eternity…there is no cure for stupidity other than education…years and years of focused education. Please…re-read the spell you used and ensure that it says: To get pregnant. And not: To get stupid. Good luck and may Mother Nature see you through safely. I almost feel bad; but someone, somewhere in her life needs to set her on the path of illumination. She obviously has access to the internet (without parental supervision), why not Google fucking ‘magic’ or something? Kids these days…they’re lazy! No research at all! 2.) Guys: What are you thinking when you see a girl crying? Reply: It literally makes me think: “What’s the nearest exit? How can I get out without her noticing me and wanting to talk? If I HAVE to talk to her, what’s the quickest way to end the conversation? Will patting her on the back and telling her Justin Beiber does truly love her but has already committed to that other girl, make her feel better so I can leave? Can I get away with just handing her a tissue and walking off? Exit strategy, exit strategy, exit strategy.” This one kind of made me chuckle. It’s such a random, yet poignant question. It makes me think that wherever she is, there are just massive amounts of girls crying on the street; and the guys are just standing there next to them, slack-jawed and staring. I’d ask the same question as her, but only after I found out why all these girls were just breaking-the-fuck down and crying. Could be symptoms of some new-fangled gender-biased apocalyptic virus. And now for the pièce de résistance: 3.) My wife tried to use a credit card online by inserting it into the floppy drive of our PC. How do I get it out? [Yes, I know this isn’t a teenager, but I couldn’t pass it up.] My first reaction is that it’s fake (I pray). Actually, that’s my first, middle and last reaction, so I didn’t even bother writing a reply. But…that doesn’t mean someone else didn’t reply in awesome angry-rant/sarcastic fashion. Reply: Are you wanting your wife or the credit card out? Either way, it’s gonna cost you a pretty penny. Might I recommend dismantling, then disposing of properly? If I didn’t know any better I would think all these people went to school every day with earmuffs and blinders on, only removing them between classes and during lunch. I don’t remember stupidity on that level as a teenager. Maybe I hung out with the smart kids; maybe we kept our questions to ourselves for fear of humiliation and a bully beat-down, only to learn life’s lessons as we went along. Or perhaps the internet really has dumbed our kids down to the point of Yahoo! Answers. Regardless, I don’t want these assholes making laws when I’m retired or I’ll have to worry about shit like not being able to walk with a cane because “wands” are illegal in the “muggle” public (yes, I know Harry Potter terminology. Fuck off!). I don’t know how much time I’ve wasted on Yahoo! Answers but it’s so darn entertaining that I’m not even sure I care.
  4. I’m not just speaking “hippy-like, mother earth, we’ve got to save nature” type thing; I mean, people straight up fuck with the concept of humanity. For example: “Hey, I know you’re a living, breathing, feeling person capable of love, with family and friends and fucking cats; but I don’t like the fact that, as a male, you put your penis inside other males. Now go burn in hell, you abomination!” Or, “I know there’s people starving who would swan dive, naked into a pool of rusty AIDs-razors just for a single pink-paste McDonald’s chicken nugget, buuuuut…I’m going to build a $130 million church…to replace the one we already have, with the money from the offering plate. *Ahem* Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Church of Dallas! fucking creep backing the trump wall when he did bullshit like this.... You'll relate care care about this real world shit when you start paying your own taxes kiddos.
  5. hm... Inspiration is for the cats who can’t find solitude and acceptance without their muse lodged directly in their colon, blowing sweet-nothings up an empty ass. I write with fucking purpose. I don’t write with heart; I don’t write with feeling or emotion or love or despair. I write to get the fucking point across that nobody has to act like they live through astounding convictions, so that I may go one more day without murdering one of the hapless morons who pepper my day with their insipid inanity. I might be a humanist, but I don’t have to like the human. I’m not an angry person, I just have a relative anger problem. It’s not even a problem, it’s what cushions you from my own invidious feelings towards inspiration. Some folks have it and they make a million dollars from it. or proclaim inspiration saved them from a hardship like it's some fucking rite of passage everyone else is fucking doing for notoriety and i rather say i don't have it because logic and common sense will always wake me the fuck up.
  6. i hate co-dependency. i'm not knocking down the prospects of friendship. i'm just saying let it take an effort over time. don't be all... "i NEED ANY RANDOM PERSON TO BE MY FRIEND ON THE SPOT!" just chill, the right people will notice you and give you the time of day because you meet the standards, not because you promote yourself to being in need of friends and they'll rush in to social climb.
  7. if you truly care then shake this pathetic display of insecurity off. people that care don't drag their baggage around.
  8. Being the resident middle aged member, the adult, the most experienced person at just clicks away. i'm no stranger to getting inboxes cause the wee teenie boopers want insight on dating and relationships from "that B that be around the B for the D." (idk... this could be some kind of flattery remark and yet we are already divided by a strange language barrier. ) That does actually make me feel like a mixed bag of flattered but put off at the curiosity surrounding my sex life from back in the days of old...(it wasn't that long ago you guys!) On one hand i shouldn't mind teaching people what to watch out for and consider carefully when dating and sex, and then on the other hand, i'm 31 years old. We have nothing in common currently. but i get it, it's not something you can talk about with kids your own age. it's new and it's weird and there's a stigma, an adult like me has been there. a mature individual isn't going to slut shame you or whatever i don't hang people's business out to dry like that. People know this because i'm was publicly open about speed dating, hot pot dating, no strings attached dating... i'm engaged now, People's past don't define them, I've always known that, i wasn't afraid. i took precautions, drove sober, asked questions first and didn't get between any exclusive couples. Sure i could talk about the former early to late 20's version of myself and maybe it could give a boarder perspective on the options you have or whats better for you emotionally or personally but would i recommend you take up hot pot dating? No. i don't honestly think it's right for people of particular subcultures, ideologies and temperaments, social disorders, potential depression tendencies. i'm not knocking down social or mental instabilities as if i don't have them myself. I have some but i have them without acting like people owe me anything for having them see i lived a very decent capable life with no signs of them and that's already a great distinction between me and you. See you lot are a depressed or emotional nihilist and in my personal case i'm just a statistic. i appreciate the whole support of me "going against the social norms and rising up against the face of adversity" but i don't think it's cute that your trying to follow me like an idol, i don't think it's endearing to call this being open minded towards my choice of sexual prowess, stop making it sound like a revolution or a feminist agenda cause it isn't. It's NOTHING like that and if it sounded extremist and otherworldly. that is not my intent. it's not a skill, it's not a talent. it's a personal mindset, it's an alternative for the right people and i don't think that's for any of you. Not even if it was an age thing. we could have been the same age and we still wouldn't have the same mentality. The reason I was hot pot dating around was because.. I DID NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP. A RELATIONSHIP JUST FOR THE TITLE OR TO SCRATCH OUT AN IDENTITY ISN'T THAT SPECIAL. I WAS ALWAYS WORKING TWO JOBS AND ATTENDING UNIVERSITY I WAS NOT A PERSON TO GET ATTACHED BECAUSE I'M STOIC. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A HOUSEWIFE BABY FACTORY STATISTICALLY PEOPLE IN GENUINE EARLY RELATIONSHIPS RUIN EACH OTHERS LIVES WHEN I HAD BAGGAGE I ALWAYS FIXED MYSELF OUTSIDE OF RELATIONSHIPS I WAS YOUNG. I HAVE ONE LIFE. WHY WASTE THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE ON SOMEONE I WAS DOOMED TO BREAK UP WITH ANYWAYS? IT WOULD NAUSEATE ME TO SETTLE DOWN SO EARLY AND DROP MY FUTURE CAREER DOWN THE SHIT HOLE FOREVER ALONE IS NOT MY SLOGAN JUST BECAUSE I WAS SINGLE AT 19 IT'S COMFORTABLE AND THERE'S NOT A LOT OF PRESSURE TO BE A SPECIFIC STANDARD MEN ARE GENERALLY A LOT NICER TO ME BECAUSE I LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE AFTER I SLEEP WITH THEM WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM THEM I HELD VERY FAIR STANDARDS YET ODDLY THEY SEEMED LIKE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS THAT COULDN'T BE MET BY MOST 20- 25 YEAR OLDS I DIDN'T WANT TO HIT IT OFF IN THE LONG TERM IF I WOULD BE EXPECTED TO CONVERT I ALWAYS GUARANTEED TO PROTECT THE SEXUAL HEALTH OF THOSE INVOLVED WITH ME. STRANGERS OR OTHER WISE. MOST GIRLS CAN'T EVEN DO THAT WITH THEIR LONG TERM "TRUE LOVE." I DON'T CARE IF MY HOT POTS SEE OTHER PEOPLE I WASN'T TRYING TO HAVE A BABY TO USE AS A MEAL TICKET OR TRAP A MAN IN AN ENGAGEMENT I DON'T CARE IF SOME PEOPLE CALLED IT MORALLY CORRUPT I PERTAINED A MINDSET THAT TOLD ME MY SOULMATE WAS SOMEONE WHO WANTED ME AFTER I WAS NOT IN MY PRIME ANYMORE. (You know how younger people are naive and think you're true love is a 16 year old crush or some retarded shit like that? i was the extreme opposite. in my mind my soulmate is a grown mature 40 year old tired of chasing pretty dumb bimbos and ready for the mature woman incarnation of myself. i just have a better appreciation for people that had all their fun before hand and got serious when the time really called for it. while it was easy to be attractive in my youth i knew nobody was worthy of me if they don't contemplate who i am as an aged woman. ) So... that is why i don't recommend hot pot dating to you. I know you'll say that i did it so you could too. your like a free spirit too and blah blah blah... But listen, it's not a hypocrisy thing. it's a... you're EMOTIONAL thing, remember? If you can't even handle constructive criticisms like being told to grow up or being told to chill out with your fandom toxicness you sure aren't ready to be able to brush it off every time people are going to call you a slut and a whore. You're not strong enough for that, you take everything to heart and seriously. Don't go off destroying yourself over something you want to pursue what's not for people like you. i'm doing you a damn favor. stay out of that. you don't know how to protect yourself and nobody can protect you once you dip your toes. In this world there's a thing called personal fucking responsibility and you have to own it if you're gonna walk that path or nobody is going to respect you. YOU ARE NOT STOIC OR PRAGMATIC. You don't have the mindset or the energy or the ability to carry this kind of thing on your back. See i couldn't define myself based on revolving everything around having a boyfriend. With you emotional people, it's like all you think you need for verification is a bf or gf. hot pot dating almost never results in having the luck of squeezing yourself into a monogamous relationship. that's just more sadness and devastation and poor self esteem on you. don't you got enough of that in your life? Even when it's psychosomatic? if you see yourself as not caring in the aftermath or not being affected at all that's on you to stay at the peek of emotional health. But if you can see yourself being institutionalized cause your nudes got leaked or something and you tried to kill yourself. and you're too stupid and broke to buy condoms and get on birth control, if sex isn't even something you can even talk about maturely then do yourself a favor and STAY AWAY from the aspects of hot pot dating. Don't do stupid reckless shit trying to look independent and bad ass because that's not how it is. This is NOT about going against the norm and not conforming, it doesn't have shit to do with that. Some people just want to find amazing sex encounters just because... don't over simplify it and ruin it and ruin yourself in the process.
  9. My stepsister Meredith was assigned a participation role in her uncle's trophy hunting seminar. it was hosted by different members at-least twice a year. I luckily got the okay to wear my teal Saree to it. I had it for sometime since i was 14, but there was never an occasion i could wear it to. A traditional Indian garment just didn't seem to fit in with the high breed socialite scene. Finally i was pleased to wear it, not so much to dazzle but to distance myself from much of my stepfathers side of the family. These events never made me comfortable. People point, people whisper about the adopted Daughter, they compare, they feel a sense of self gratitude offering their open arms like they are doing me a favor and then opening up about it so publicly for the admiration of others. while i may very well care for my step and half siblings, attending these things was a milder form of walking on glass for them. When one is a female trophy hunter, it is of the utmost crowning achievement to such families. it is very difficult to get on the registry to even participate in an auction for a high priority animal. Meredith was excited to see her first hunt because she was very much behind all her older cousins who had between 1 to 3 claimed trophy's. If she could at least have her first, she could claim her right of passage. i had my doubts that she'd be ready, she's only ever accompanied relatives on safari's and hunts, she had no skill but she seemed more concerned with having just the bragging rights of the experience. She was gushing like the sorority girl she genuinely was at our table of 5. her and i who have yet to have a hunt and her relatives of similar ages to us. "I wonder what the auction animal is gonna be. They said the location was New Guinea?" "Lucky break, the last trophy i did was in the arctic...it was a rouge walrus attacking too many penguins in the breeding grounds. " "Willow are you gonna be in the auction too?" "Nope, i'm just contributing to the conservation of the lemurs and the eating of this buffet. and the drinking of this wine... wow, did we finish 3 bottles at this table already?" "if it's a predator animal i'm pretty interested. if not i can let Meredith go ahead and slide into it. she's still just a fledgling and shit" "Shut up Christopher.... if i get this one we'd be tied" " i think one of the coordinators said it was an albino water buffalo. but there is also this lion that got castrated by a honey badger. it keeps killing cubs from other prides, they are giving us the albino trophy but the lion trophy is getting auctioned in Chicago, " "An albino that grew into adult hood in the wild? that really is a high priority." "Awww but albino animals are so pretty and rare." "But if we let them breed the off spring will be mutated, a male water buffalo could father up to 12 calf's per mating season. you don't want mutated genes spreading through the entire species." "I know, that. I pay attention to the conservation logs. they're still are pretty... but i totally understand these mutations are causing them to suffer internally and they aren't very immune to many illness." "And that's why you're so likable Willow, you keep and open mind about these things." i could feel a hand on my lap. i didn't try to look in the general direction of touchy-Magee. it's not like he was my cousin but what totally disregard. "well.. yeah being an animal lover means appreciating the protection and welfare of animals as a species, not just one individual animals that has to be sacrificed..." "exactly, we're not poachers that are hunting illegal and thinning out the species, we pay a lot of money to make sure the lands are protected from constructions tearing trees down too. whats he trying to do now... he seems to be struggling with location of the helm. fucking idiot....i'm wearing a saree, he can't climb into my skin with this fabric shield like it was a common dress... there was still no lack or trying as this creep was staring me dead in the eyes in this idle conversation as if he wasn't trying to poke and pry his fingers through my clothing. I've had about enough of it. "we'll never be better than animals, when some of us are being PIGS." He immediately drew both hands upon the napkin in-front of him and cleared his throat wearily. There was an exchange of questionable looks around the table including Meredith i had to excuse myself from making a scene, and hide out in the bathroom for the remainder of the event. No one really bothered to check on me. i would later hear that i was making a horrid tantrum over being jealous of Meredith success in the auction. i would later other things after that.
  10. "I want pizza, Conner. Buy pizza. When we get to my place?" "Anchovies?" "No. Ew...." "Not the topping, the chain. It's called anchovies. They make the pies with five cheeses instead of just mozzerella. Like asiago, romano, parmesan..." "That really sounds good for a place that really screwed themselves on the name choice. It's like they want people to think they make kryptonite pizza." "Oh wait... sorry, anchovies is actually a place back in Or...Lan.... shit." "Damn it! Now i want it... what's the matter?" "Nothing. I almost fucking said Orlando without bothering to remember it's just you and not Yasmine." "I don't know what that means but should I feel offended?" "No, I didn't mean to bring up Florida or my other flame in Florida." "That wasn't even the point, I'm bummed you compared me to Yasmine. You can talk about your conquests all day like it's my business and I don't care." "Sorry... it's not like I even have that many more girlfriends, just Yasmine. Everyone else was just a one time thing. I'm wrong about it i know. It's just that these opportunities, I take advantage and then I feel like shit later you know?" Conner was speaking very gently, almost in a manner that seemed genuine and sincere. Caused a totally change in my mood altogether. "I guess I get it... not really...but if I got to travel around and meet one cute guy after another I'd be in the same boat." We where now at my door and I fidgeted with my keys to unlock it. "See you totally get me Will. Everyone else thinks I'm bragging but I only brought it up once. " "But I'd be single. So It'd be different. I wouldn't be in a serious relationship in the first place. " "Like how you're single right now?" I could almost sense a total disregard for personal space as he squeezed passed me through the doorway without letting me through first. "Conner, what the fuck?" "What I say? You are single. What's that look for?" "You're calling me single like it applies to me that way." "Like what way? Why are you being so irrational? You've been single for 5 months. That's called being single." "It's called trying to recover cause my boyfriend died and I didn't-" "Okay I know, sorry.... I only met the guy twice, Steven, it's just that I was sure that maybe you been on the dating market on and off.... not like a boyfriend but just so your not completely lonely. Maybe you're just vulnerable? " "We're grown ass people conner. Say what you fucking mean. You're asking if I'm randomly having sex to fill a void. A void I can fill in just nicely with fried shrimp, chocolate raisins and my 1998 mixtapes. So no. I'm not fucking around." I failed to stay composed with the tears welling up and I briskly sat on the closest chair to tuck my face inside my romper. "Don't cry, I wasn't judging you. I was just curious. I'm the one fucking around, you're the one just pulling it together by yourself. I just wanted to know if we could relate on that level. I wanted you to help me." "Help how? Fasten a shock collar around your dick so you don't keep cheating on Yasmine when you leave town?" No. You want me to have the remote on hand? I can send the signal over via text message on request. No i was thinking, hold on, I can't stop laughing now... "Cause you know I'll do it. You're like my brother but i dont really respect what you're doing. " "Don't say I'm like a brother, it just makes this whole situation weirder. Don't ever say that again please." By just saying that, i think I understand now that you should probably... go home now. "How obvious exactly though? Maybe there's some other underlining reason I don't want to be like a brother. Any other reason. I just need one." Don't touch my legs pIease i was really not prepared for this... "I have been nothing but nice to you. Ive been nothing but protective over you. How do you not know I had a crush on you?" "Because that's just exactly how you treat a little sister or at best the scrawny flatchested friend from middle school that hasn't changed no matter how time or hormonal changes passes. We've been playing the same dungeons and dragons Champaign characters for 7 years. I'm Deidre the Derailer, you're Tiberius Lanceheart. That's us, and I'm calling a time out cause I'm having a metabolic acidosis for real time. Don't touch me." "I don't understand, why did you tell Cynthia you where into me? Was it just your personal secret?" "I didn't! She's a rat!was this today!" "What the fuck? Ugh... I thougth she was trying to do me a favor. " "You better just go, i think she set you up. If she's talking to Yasmine right now...." "Jesus. Fuck." "Yeah you almost had sex with me, cause Yasmine is on the rag or something, oh the horror..." "Stop it. I wanted a real relationship with you!" "Does your real girlfriend know? Because that's not how you start a real relationships with someone. Stop trying to hold me, you creep. Your just trying to take advantage." "Fine, I'm going home. But we could talk about this later. We got baggage and we should sort that out first. I don't wanna leave things like this. Try to hear me out next time. " "Whatever go home. you didnt order a pizza to wait on anyway. Leave..." "Did you still want to get pizza?" "No! Get the fuck out of my house you fucking idiot!"
  11. I lost the case again for custody of all 3 of my halfbrothers children. (he was falsely imprisoned by his ex wife. She moved another man into their home that HE owns since our father's my stepfathers death.) But Ashlynn got emancipated. So i'm pleased she's coming to live with me by choice. It was an emotionally and finacially draining struggle trying to reason with the courts that her constant running away wasn't because she was troubled. We're not fully out of the woods yet but now im laying low on the fight for my brother's children so i can recover my financial loses. Though also Tanner reached out to me upon hearing of my semi-lose. Our relationship is a complicated one. I ended it 4 years ago because i was sure i was going to win my nieces. He was an older man of 42 with a 17 year old daugther, so he was already finished raising his child. I wasn't going to drag him down in my prusuit of children and a family. Seems he's had fun and freedom and yet he feels old and unaccomplished. I can relate but reconnecting romantically certainly isn't in my plans now that i'm engaged to Jimmy. Even if i made up my mind it still weighs on me because break ups that happen on good terms are the ones that make me look over my shoulders more than the worst ones since that had been the case with Jimmy. I suck at these situations of managing between family emergencies and the men in my life. It could never feel like i'm allowed have both. If i can't then i'm an aunt for the long haul. If they dont appreciate it, they know where the door is. I'm tired. I have something to show for my sacrifies like not settleing down in all these years, selling my home, not returning to Westminster, but i'm still tired before i even got to really become a gaurdian.
  12. 4 8 Skip 4, uno! "Why do girls take forever getting ready?" "I don't know... Draw two." How do you not know you're a girl... Jimmy, Connor and Nick all look at me and snicker behind their cards. "Well, i'm not a girl girl.. So... Shut up, yall known me for years now." This was Conners basement. The base of pot smoking indie music and board games. And on occasion we set up the madden football game down here. Nick was a friend as was jimmy but Jimmy was also conner's step cousin. The nephew of conner's step dad. Jimmy was here for vacation from Georgia and he only hung with us for maybe 3 or 4 times. Jimmy was a timid feller from the country with a southern accent and mannerism. The girls where here as well 4 in total, not including me, all sharing the huge second bathroom upstairs. Conner's mom had this huge wide bathroom with studio sized vanity mirror above her dual sinks. The sinks where so far apart you couldn't touch elbows brushing your teeth if you tried. The girls loved that room. It use to be a place to just lounge and smoke but once everyone got to that dating phase it's just been the personal dressing room. The smell of weed and different perfumes infusing made us ill so we gracefully accepted the loss of our cozy house nook and retreated to the male cave. Conner pretty much ran the home as he wanted because his parents where flight attendants. They where barely ever home. They travel to many exotic and exciting places. As did conner but he needed to stay close to home to host his cousin's stay. He also wanted to keep his head down for awhile so his currant girlfriend didn't become too suspicious of his "sleeping around the world mission." "Well it's been like 3 games of uno and they aren't done yet..." "Uno doesn't take that long to play though." "Well you just got here Nick. We've been playing Jenga earlier." "Yas said something about curling her hair." "Can someone go see why they are taking so fucking long." Typical everyone looked at me. "Ugh fine... I felt like getting high off nail varnish anyway..." -------- The girls where Yasmine whom was dating conner for 3 months though they been acquainted for two years, cynthia, is nick's Current "rebound/secondary girlfriend." they only recently started dating again though nobody knows if he really called it quits with his long distance girlfriend from California. Out here in Conneticut though Yasmine was his girlfriend. And finally the two most interesting sisters Zoey and Samantha. These two are a set of very rare bi-racial twins. Samantha dated Hector and zoey was simply paired with Macho for the occasion. Both whom where already at the destination we planned to take off to. They were identical except for the fact that Zoey's skin pigment didn't blend too well in the womb so she had splooches of discolored milky skin over her light cocoa complexion, or vitiligo. Samantha was flawless. It certainly made all the difference in how people interacted with them. (But more of that later.) "Knock knock.... You bitches almost done in there. Hector texted us twice now." "Okay willow! Almost done." I had taken off but returned to the hallway upstairs again to see if i could borrow a phone as i was currently low in minutes (2009 has a shitty cellphone era.) i hadn't intended to over hear anything incriminating about me but when i heard my name from Cynthia's mouth i pretty much became invested in eaves dropping. "That's way out of line! Willow just gets on my damn nerves! Just cause she's short and shit but... She jumped on Nick's back for a piggy back ride that one time.. Remember?" What's the big deal, i horse around with him all the time..... "Yeah you just don't jump on another chicks boyfriend like that, it's just not cool... I wonder whose lap she'll sit on in the car ride this time..." We're taking two cars you drama queen... "You guys are over exaggerating... Willow is like a little sister to the guys." Thank you Zoey. Samantha threw her two cents in too. "Yasmine, your problem is with Conner. He had another girl in a couple other states so you..." "Shut the hell up.. Seriously..." "Mmhm... See that... You don't want people to tell you how it is so you try and hang willow out to dry." "Whatever... Piss off already... Let it go.. You think I'm worried? Willows not all that pretty and i still wonder myself if she's a closet lesbo of something..." "Doesn't wear make up, doesn't fix her hair, Wears her brother clothes, and shes so short! Flat chested." It was all just Yas and Cynthia now. The twins where silent aside from asking for the twezzers or more hair spray. My face was on fire so badly i could kick the damn door down but i didn't want to detere the plans to chavos. "So that Jimmy kid, he's kinda cute huh?" "Yeah he doesn't have a girlfriend back home so i think he's waiting on some summer hook up scenario or something." "Well willow is the only girl that's single too i think she's been getting lumped with him to even out the boy-girl ratio." "Well she's single and hooks up with people." " A nice country guy like him? Totally wasted on her. I feel bad. Conner could have done better with the other girls he keeps on the back burner... But then of course i'd have to beat their asses if i saw them haha." "No i think he's lucky it's willow. A friend of macho's, that dude named steve... She blew him. " "Well damn... I heard stories but she doesn't even look the type.. I've never gone down on a guy..." "Me either..." "Never gonna happen..." "I'm still waiting for the right guy... I mean id have to seriously be attached to someone to even consider that." "Okay so maybe willow is legit an issue after all... We don't suck dick... She does. Maybe that's why the guys keep her little tomboy ass around..." Yeah sure that must be it... It's so not because i supply the pot, play Madden football, supply the extra guitar hero devices or a bunch of other interest that connects me to my friends... "Yasmine seriously... You are out of your damn mind. You outta chill... She's been friends with them before you were even relevant" That's right Zoey throw them some truths. "I'm just saying... If we can't do it, they'll find another hoe that will... And Her head game has got to be spot on to compete with this." Okay bitch.... It's on... I'll play some head game's with you... ------------------- I slowly took my seat back downstairs. "Another game guys" "So, are they almost ready? Macho and Hector are already at Chavos. They texted like 4 times." "Oh, i'm not sure i mean they keep saying 5 more minutes each time i asked before so...hold on... Is there any more sodas?" I was very certain of the timing and it was pretty close. I placed my hand to my forehead and got up weakly. "My blood sugar feels low." Conner is the first to get up and shuffle over beside me. " You okay, did you bring your glucose tablets? Nick go get her a root beer or something." Jimmy is looking confused. "What's the matter? Oh my goodness, this girls bout to faint." "She is hypoglycemic. She has a condition that burns sugar from her system pretty fast she just needs more sugar." "Your face is red. Can you breath okay?" I sit in the sofa with Nick and nurse my root beer. "I'll be okay... I just need a minute. " --------------- "Y'all ready for Chavos guys?! The girls are suddenly clustering at the entrance way of the basement stairs. Nick and Jimmy didn't have much enthusiasm to respond right away but said "yes" and "whatever sure." Yasmine stomped over in her clicky high heels oddly to see if she really was seeing me with my head nested on conner's knee. His hand stroking my hair gently to soothe my pretend discomfort. She said nothing but her face noted her exasperated mood. "I'm not going, I'm gonna make sure willow gets home okay." I shook my head at conner. "I already told you, i can get home myself." Cynthia approaches me with her huge botox looking grin. "Aww baby what happened?" She gives me a loose hug. God she bathed in perfume... "I just have a migraine. I have hypoglycemia... I'm gonna go home in a bit ." "Yas, take my keys you can drive the second car. I'm gonna walk willow home." Conner gets up and braces me around the shoulder he makes no attempt to kiss yasmine back as we walk past her. Look whose blowing who off now.... Yas and cynthia would not have this but they made a civil approach. "Nick she had something to drink right? Her sugar should be stabilizing...." "That's not for you to say! Maybe if some people didn't take so fucking long getting ready!" Conner was visibly upset and everyone backed off and took upstairs to get situated in the two vehicles without another protest. We followed up the stairs closely and i said my apologies to jimmy. He seemed confused and replied that he hoped i felt better latter. We separated from the front door of the house as conner locked it. Zoey gives me a kiss. "You gonna be okay.... Do you want me to bring you back some wings or ribs?" "I'd like that. Thanks..." "Call me or samantha if anything." Zoey and Sam certainly are my friends. I feel bad for making them worry. Ashamed that i stuped to this level of head game's... And not the kind yas was worried about. Yas isn't worthy of Conner. I'm on a war path now. Burn you slag... Burn!!! "Will, you're even more red! Are you having an allergic reaction?!" "Oh um no.... Well.. I got spritzed with a lot of perfume upstairs... It really congested me." "It really drives me up the wall that yas wears so much fucking perfume... Damn it... Let's get you home in one peace." Burn...
  13. It was raining on a Thursday. The rain always worked against me and i went to work in my car rather than my bike. (People really squaked about gas prices back then and money was rather tight.) it wasn't too bad since rainy days meant hot chocolate orders and trafficking of patrons that drop all their pocket change into the tip jars like it was every ones business. I was also taking the next day off but scheduled for Sunday. i usually didn't work the sunday shift, though my pregnant co-worker (we shall just call her Cassidy for the story) requested that day off for prenatal appointments. I took up the trade cause as usual no one else outside the weekend shift would. She was grateful to my cooperation. (The other coworkers seemed like assholes but i never really bothered to notice. I was just know understanding her anxiety once i agreed and she started breathing properly once more. Seemed even the manager seemed like a sloth about it. He has the power to switch and make people do things but didn't apply it. Much of this day was spent looking at a swimsuit catalog for no real reason. It just came as mail. "I just can't tell from pictures if my bust can fit in a top like that." I couldn't disagree. What a pandering catalog. "It's annoying, this one says petite and this one says it's athletic but the models are the same person. How is she fitting in this petite? She gonna bust out." "If i still had my swimming body id either order this peacock pattern or the seafoam. You in the market for a new swimsuit? "No, i was just looking. My old one still fits pretty good. I'm not a two piece fan either." "Oh i was just asking since you kept going back to the same page as if you like this glittery one." I didn't notice i was so transfixed with that one page of the entire thick catalog. It featured a bi-racial model sporting a two piece purple fish scale pattern but i hardly noticed cause the background had pretty pink sand in the clear water. And there was a butterfly kite in the smaller picture in the corner. "I just like pink sand see? Like in pictures of Aruba.... What's the matter...?" Cassidy got up and moved off mid sentence. I could tell without looking that it was because little miss youth group was arriving. Even on a rainy day this girl didn't take a break. (We shall call her Amanda) i greeted her as if nothing was amiss but the look on her face said she saw us in conversation and looked like she had questions even but i'd be ignorant about it till she pushes. I briefly washed my hands and proceeded in my order taking mode and brought up her two doughnuts. The catalog came up, and then some pointless back to school grievances since it was now 2 weeks away and she hadn't read any books for the summer. "You don't wanna wait last minute... I'm currently reading the grapes of wrath. I think ill write a thesis on all the religious allegories in it." "Sounds familiar..." Steinback. He wrote of mice and men, the winter of our discontent, east of eden." "Don't know them. Do you keep all your reports on hand?" "Well i remember enough that i could write up some quick notes but you'd still have to do the reading of the plot devices....it's almost the end of my shift so im gonna go mop up real fast. Dont you usually mop on fridays? Thats tomorrow. " Yeah but I wont be here tomorrow, i changed shifts for sunday. But i know that if i don't mop now, it wont get done. Walter hates mopping and i don't want Cassidy to strain herself its a heavy mop to push." She evil eyed me. With nothing but an "oh..." I pretend not to notice and start mixing my chemicals into the water. There was hardly any degreaser in the bottle to add. "Is there not another thing of degreaser? Tiffany?" Tiffany makes no attempt to look up from her phone and just says "that's for the ovens." "I like adding it to the mop water cause it keeps the floor cleaner over time. It's the only reason we don't have to mop everyday." Tiff just shrugs and i'm fixing to get irritated if i have to walk to the storage room myself but luckily, Cass comes over with the new container of degreaser and carries off with the soap and bleach containers." "Did you clock out yet? Don't take off yet. Ill give you a ride. Let me finish mopping." "Okay thanks" cassidy disappears to the back and as i proceed to move the chairs atop the tables, Amanda confronts me in a harsh whisper. " what are you doing? I thought we'd hang out after work. What about those notes?" " but i don't even have time for that today. I have to babysit and do my grandmas laundry. I have to pick it up and drop it off at the senior home. Ill write them for you by sunday." "Well i thought i'd ask for a ride but forget it i guess..." She made it sound like it was my fault she walked over here in the rain nobody asked her to be here. "She's pregnant, she's 17, it's raining, her bus comes 15 minutes after she clocks out so... Since i have my car, I'm gonna give her a ride." She evil eyed me again. But i clacked up the final chairs and grabbed my mop without a pause in between "You're more than welcomed to tag along if you don't make a ruckus. My car can fit the both of you just sit at the back and ignore...Amanda the floor is still wet! Amanda was already sliding the hood of her coat over her head and stomping out the door and out into the rain like i didn't exist. I don't know if i cared enough. Usually when i don't exist im use to it. If i'm ignored, oh well. I was just accustomed to it. But it different when you don't exist to begin with and when you did exist but then you stop existing. While my lack of care and concern was similar something was still off. I packed up my hot coco and warm bagels and dropped Cassidy off it was about 9 minutes. 15 minute bus wait seemed ridiculous but there was only one car available in her family of 4. I considered making an effort to drive her around more in exchange for her bus fair two dollars from her portions of the tips at least. She was delighted and relieved because the other co-workers seemed like asses. " watch your step on the porch its slippery. Good luck at your appointment." "Thanks... Oh by the way. My baby shower..." she didn't even try to rush inside to avoid the rain she just stood outside the car door "Do you want to come if you can get the day off we haven't decided on a theme yet. So we didn't even write up invitations but..." "Sure ill see, just hurry up, its cold or at least get back in the car. " i had to cut her off cause it just wasn't the right scenario having a lengthy conversation as water poured down her forehead, nose and chin like she was under a shower facet. Okay see ya around thanks for the ride. "Sure." i rummage my bagel bag for the cream cheese and a spork given i was free to eat. When I looked back up and see that Cassidy is now sitting on the porch. I wait only a few moments just to be sure she wasn't just waiting on the door to be open as she rested. I imagine pregnancy is exhausting like that. Curiosity became concern and I rolled my window down. "What are you doing Cassidy?" "Nobody is home yet. The door is locked and they didn't know i was gonna be here this early." "Get back in the car then. You should have just told me..." she returns to the passenger side and climbs in "You don't have your own key?" "Well they don't usually leave me by myself at home. They think i'll steal things." she started to breath on her cold fingers just after she had said this so casually, so unhinged like this was just life. "Do you have somewhere to be? I don't want you to be late or anything." she was already opening the door to step out. The bite of bagel i just shallowed wanted to come back up and suffocated me. Not today you yeasty son of a bitch.... "You ask that like i'm gonna just leave you out here. That's not even like a choice. I have to shower and change clothes before going to my baby sitting place. So you may as well come with me. I'll just pop over here on the way." She agreed in relief. I could say nothing else but look in the mirror and make involuntary short glances at her. At her stomach. At myself in the mirror again. It's even a miracle i got home without paying attention to the roads. I was careful enough dwelling on the safety of that unborn baby in my car. Even as a baby sitter, as a caregiver of half siblings and little cousins for much of my life, i never really felt the gravity of my influence and presence. I knew they ate, i knew where they sleep i knew when they lie. Why sticking playdoh inside lego pieces seemed like a cool idea to the 6 year old mind. I didn't know this one. This was maybe the first time my nurturing instincts awoke to this degree. It's my biggest vulnerability. only children and animals can trap me. I didn't like it. But its just my destiny and cross to bare and there's no way out of getting invested now. I hate the rain.
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