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Everything posted by EvilActivity

  1. Dear Sandra i don't hear from you in the inboxes anymore. if you're around hit me up if you want. update me on your life chica or drop me you're cell number or another social media account. Your twitter account seems to be down following that thing with your ex stalker girlfriend? i don't frequent everyday so in the event that i left you hanging i finally got around to alphabetizing my emotive band list for you since you shared all your under ground pagan playlist and reflective music with me and i only drop very few titles and albums for you. i know... i know it took me too fucking long.... i just have this thing about sharing my shit cause it's the legit emotive music and i don't think most people are worthy of being aware to it. The underrated secret stash is the pride and blood of underground music lovers... But i'm gonna just let it go cause you appreciated the other albums and titles. You might know a lot of these from Canada but i'll place them in just in case. a petal fallen acrobat down adobe home algernon cadwallader all my wishes are down a well and should die there allegory of the cave alta amber inn ambulance Ltd amortifera anasarca angel falls another sevenfold antioch arrow astrolab arm arse moreira at the drive in audience of one Those are all the A bands, and i'm already feeling typed out. i'll sort out another page when i have the time. Hope you come give me an update soon. Please drop more pagan/ethereal bands.
  2. I just had the pleasure of revisiting Yahoo! Answers and…my mind has been so thoroughly blown. It’s like a giant middle/high school “study hall” (or whatever they call it these days) of tweens and teens flapping their gums on inane subjects. The only difference being that these teenagers are coming across as more mind-bogglingly stupid than I could ever have imagined (mostly due to text type). If these are the future leaders of earth, I think I’m done. Seriously, I’m getting a shovel and digging a hole to stick my arrogant head into and folding my metaphorical poker-hand because shit is u.g.l.y. out there. I also want to state that yes, this isn’t really a fair post; it’s like shooting quadraplegic puppies in a barrel (that’s just an awful analogy, I apologize for that). I understand teenagers are mostly stupid because, well…they have no experience with anything; it’s not completely their fault. But I feel like an example needs to be made anyway, and maybe these kids will think twice before they post questions that make my 2 year old foster child look smart by comparison. The following are a sample of the questions I saw, trailed by the replies I gave to these nuggets of fucked-up inquisitiveness. 1.) Is it possible for a spell (yes, you read that correctly, spell) to make you pregnant? Before I get to the reply, I understand she’s probably 13 or somewhere close (I hope), but shit!- really? I can’t fathom the level of ignorance her parents must have in order to breed a girl who obviously believes Harry Potter is non-fiction. But because of her age (possible age), I kept my response to sarcastic, and not flat out mean. Reply: Oh no…please tell me you did the correct spell!! There is another invocation that is similar to the pregnancy one, except instead of a baby, this one fills your stomach full of stupidity. If you do not do the reverse spell within one lunar cycle (the next full moon), I’m sorry to say, but you will become a giant ball of ‘stupid’. Once the spell has completely finished its process (after the next full moon), you will become stuck on stupid for eternity…there is no cure for stupidity other than education…years and years of focused education. Please…re-read the spell you used and ensure that it says: To get pregnant. And not: To get stupid. Good luck and may Mother Nature see you through safely. I almost feel bad; but someone, somewhere in her life needs to set her on the path of illumination. She obviously has access to the internet (without parental supervision), why not Google fucking ‘magic’ or something? Kids these days…they’re lazy! No research at all! 2.) Guys: What are you thinking when you see a girl crying? Reply: It literally makes me think: “What’s the nearest exit? How can I get out without her noticing me and wanting to talk? If I HAVE to talk to her, what’s the quickest way to end the conversation? Will patting her on the back and telling her Justin Beiber does truly love her but has already committed to that other girl, make her feel better so I can leave? Can I get away with just handing her a tissue and walking off? Exit strategy, exit strategy, exit strategy.” This one kind of made me chuckle. It’s such a random, yet poignant question. It makes me think that wherever she is, there are just massive amounts of girls crying on the street; and the guys are just standing there next to them, slack-jawed and staring. I’d ask the same question as her, but only after I found out why all these girls were just breaking-the-fuck down and crying. Could be symptoms of some new-fangled gender-biased apocalyptic virus. And now for the pièce de résistance: 3.) My wife tried to use a credit card online by inserting it into the floppy drive of our PC. How do I get it out? [Yes, I know this isn’t a teenager, but I couldn’t pass it up.] My first reaction is that it’s fake (I pray). Actually, that’s my first, middle and last reaction, so I didn’t even bother writing a reply. But…that doesn’t mean someone else didn’t reply in awesome angry-rant/sarcastic fashion. Reply: Are you wanting your wife or the credit card out? Either way, it’s gonna cost you a pretty penny. Might I recommend dismantling, then disposing of properly? If I didn’t know any better I would think all these people went to school every day with earmuffs and blinders on, only removing them between classes and during lunch. I don’t remember stupidity on that level as a teenager. Maybe I hung out with the smart kids; maybe we kept our questions to ourselves for fear of humiliation and a bully beat-down, only to learn life’s lessons as we went along. Or perhaps the internet really has dumbed our kids down to the point of Yahoo! Answers. Regardless, I don’t want these assholes making laws when I’m retired or I’ll have to worry about shit like not being able to walk with a cane because “wands” are illegal in the “muggle” public (yes, I know Harry Potter terminology. Fuck off!). I don’t know how much time I’ve wasted on Yahoo! Answers but it’s so darn entertaining that I’m not even sure I care.
  3. I’m not just speaking “hippy-like, mother earth, we’ve got to save nature” type thing; I mean, people straight up fuck with the concept of humanity. For example: “Hey, I know you’re a living, breathing, feeling person capable of love, with family and friends and fucking cats; but I don’t like the fact that, as a male, you put your penis inside other males. Now go burn in hell, you abomination!” Or, “I know there’s people starving who would swan dive, naked into a pool of rusty AIDs-razors just for a single pink-paste McDonald’s chicken nugget, buuuuut…I’m going to build a $130 million church…to replace the one we already have, with the money from the offering plate. *Ahem* Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Church of Dallas! fucking creep backing the trump wall when he did bullshit like this.... You'll relate care care about this real world shit when you start paying your own taxes kiddos.
  4. hm... Inspiration is for the cats who can’t find solitude and acceptance without their muse lodged directly in their colon, blowing sweet-nothings up an empty ass. I write with fucking purpose. I don’t write with heart; I don’t write with feeling or emotion or love or despair. I write to get the fucking point across that nobody has to act like they live through astounding convictions, so that I may go one more day without murdering one of the hapless morons who pepper my day with their insipid inanity. I might be a humanist, but I don’t have to like the human. I’m not an angry person, I just have a relative anger problem. It’s not even a problem, it’s what cushions you from my own invidious feelings towards inspiration. Some folks have it and they make a million dollars from it. or proclaim inspiration saved them from a hardship like it's some fucking rite of passage everyone else is fucking doing for notoriety and i rather say i don't have it because logic and common sense will always wake me the fuck up.
  5. i hate co-dependency. i'm not knocking down the prospects of friendship. i'm just saying let it take an effort over time. don't be all... "i NEED ANY RANDOM PERSON TO BE MY FRIEND ON THE SPOT!" just chill, the right people will notice you and give you the time of day because you meet the standards, not because you promote yourself to being in need of friends and they'll rush in to social climb.
  6. get some therapy maybe? MAYBE?
  7. if you truly care then shake this pathetic display of insecurity off. people that care don't drag their baggage around.
  8. From the album: EvilActivity

    this is the first gift ever given to me by my niece since she's begone working part time at arby's. i probably buy nutella regularly like it's gonna go out of style but she got it with her own money. I'm pretty proud of it.
  9. Being the resident middle aged member, the adult, the most experienced person at just clicks away. i'm no stranger to getting inboxes cause the wee teenie boopers want insight on dating and relationships from "that B that be around the B for the D." (idk... this could be some kind of flattery remark and yet we are already divided by a strange language barrier. ) That does actually make me feel like a mixed bag of flattered but put off at the curiosity surrounding my sex life from back in the days of old...(it wasn't that long ago you guys!) On one hand i shouldn't mind teaching people what to watch out for and consider carefully when dating and sex, and then on the other hand, i'm 31 years old. We have nothing in common currently. but i get it, it's not something you can talk about with kids your own age. it's new and it's weird and there's a stigma, an adult like me has been there. a mature individual isn't going to slut shame you or whatever i don't hang people's business out to dry like that. People know this because i'm was publicly open about speed dating, hot pot dating, no strings attached dating... i'm engaged now, People's past don't define them, I've always known that, i wasn't afraid. i took precautions, drove sober, asked questions first and didn't get between any exclusive couples. Sure i could talk about the former early to late 20's version of myself and maybe it could give a boarder perspective on the options you have or whats better for you emotionally or personally but would i recommend you take up hot pot dating? No. i don't honestly think it's right for people of particular subcultures, ideologies and temperaments, social disorders, potential depression tendencies. i'm not knocking down social or mental instabilities as if i don't have them myself. I have some but i have them without acting like people owe me anything for having them see i lived a very decent capable life with no signs of them and that's already a great distinction between me and you. See you lot are a depressed or emotional nihilist and in my personal case i'm just a statistic. i appreciate the whole support of me "going against the social norms and rising up against the face of adversity" but i don't think it's cute that your trying to follow me like an idol, i don't think it's endearing to call this being open minded towards my choice of sexual prowess, stop making it sound like a revolution or a feminist agenda cause it isn't. It's NOTHING like that and if it sounded extremist and otherworldly. that is not my intent. it's not a skill, it's not a talent. it's a personal mindset, it's an alternative for the right people and i don't think that's for any of you. Not even if it was an age thing. we could have been the same age and we still wouldn't have the same mentality. The reason I was hot pot dating around was because.. I DID NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP. A RELATIONSHIP JUST FOR THE TITLE OR TO SCRATCH OUT AN IDENTITY ISN'T THAT SPECIAL. I WAS ALWAYS WORKING TWO JOBS AND ATTENDING UNIVERSITY I WAS NOT A PERSON TO GET ATTACHED BECAUSE I'M STOIC. I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A HOUSEWIFE BABY FACTORY STATISTICALLY PEOPLE IN GENUINE EARLY RELATIONSHIPS RUIN EACH OTHERS LIVES WHEN I HAD BAGGAGE I ALWAYS FIXED MYSELF OUTSIDE OF RELATIONSHIPS I WAS YOUNG. I HAVE ONE LIFE. WHY WASTE THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE ON SOMEONE I WAS DOOMED TO BREAK UP WITH ANYWAYS? IT WOULD NAUSEATE ME TO SETTLE DOWN SO EARLY AND DROP MY FUTURE CAREER DOWN THE SHIT HOLE FOREVER ALONE IS NOT MY SLOGAN JUST BECAUSE I WAS SINGLE AT 19 IT'S COMFORTABLE AND THERE'S NOT A LOT OF PRESSURE TO BE A SPECIFIC STANDARD MEN ARE GENERALLY A LOT NICER TO ME BECAUSE I LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE AFTER I SLEEP WITH THEM WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM THEM I HELD VERY FAIR STANDARDS YET ODDLY THEY SEEMED LIKE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS THAT COULDN'T BE MET BY MOST 20- 25 YEAR OLDS I DIDN'T WANT TO HIT IT OFF IN THE LONG TERM IF I WOULD BE EXPECTED TO CONVERT I ALWAYS GUARANTEED TO PROTECT THE SEXUAL HEALTH OF THOSE INVOLVED WITH ME. STRANGERS OR OTHER WISE. MOST GIRLS CAN'T EVEN DO THAT WITH THEIR LONG TERM "TRUE LOVE." I DON'T CARE IF MY HOT POTS SEE OTHER PEOPLE I WASN'T TRYING TO HAVE A BABY TO USE AS A MEAL TICKET OR TRAP A MAN IN AN ENGAGEMENT I DON'T CARE IF SOME PEOPLE CALLED IT MORALLY CORRUPT I PERTAINED A MINDSET THAT TOLD ME MY SOULMATE WAS SOMEONE WHO WANTED ME AFTER I WAS NOT IN MY PRIME ANYMORE. (You know how younger people are naive and think you're true love is a 16 year old crush or some retarded shit like that? i was the extreme opposite. in my mind my soulmate is a grown mature 40 year old tired of chasing pretty dumb bimbos and ready for the mature woman incarnation of myself. i just have a better appreciation for people that had all their fun before hand and got serious when the time really called for it. while it was easy to be attractive in my youth i knew nobody was worthy of me if they don't contemplate who i am as an aged woman. ) So... that is why i don't recommend hot pot dating to you. I know you'll say that i did it so you could too. your like a free spirit too and blah blah blah... But listen, it's not a hypocrisy thing. it's a... you're EMOTIONAL thing, remember? If you can't even handle constructive criticisms like being told to grow up or being told to chill out with your fandom toxicness you sure aren't ready to be able to brush it off every time people are going to call you a slut and a whore. You're not strong enough for that, you take everything to heart and seriously. Don't go off destroying yourself over something you want to pursue what's not for people like you. i'm doing you a damn favor. stay out of that. you don't know how to protect yourself and nobody can protect you once you dip your toes. In this world there's a thing called personal fucking responsibility and you have to own it if you're gonna walk that path or nobody is going to respect you. YOU ARE NOT STOIC OR PRAGMATIC. You don't have the mindset or the energy or the ability to carry this kind of thing on your back. See i couldn't define myself based on revolving everything around having a boyfriend. With you emotional people, it's like all you think you need for verification is a bf or gf. hot pot dating almost never results in having the luck of squeezing yourself into a monogamous relationship. that's just more sadness and devastation and poor self esteem on you. don't you got enough of that in your life? Even when it's psychosomatic? if you see yourself as not caring in the aftermath or not being affected at all that's on you to stay at the peek of emotional health. But if you can see yourself being institutionalized cause your nudes got leaked or something and you tried to kill yourself. and you're too stupid and broke to buy condoms and get on birth control, if sex isn't even something you can even talk about maturely then do yourself a favor and STAY AWAY from the aspects of hot pot dating. Don't do stupid reckless shit trying to look independent and bad ass because that's not how it is. This is NOT about going against the norm and not conforming, it doesn't have shit to do with that. Some people just want to find amazing sex encounters just because... don't over simplify it and ruin it and ruin yourself in the process.
  10. My stepsister Meredith was assigned a participation role in her uncle's trophy hunting seminar. it was hosted by different members at-least twice a year. I luckily got the okay to wear my teal Saree to it. I had it for sometime since i was 14, but there was never an occasion i could wear it to. A traditional Indian garment just didn't seem to fit in with the high breed socialite scene. Finally i was pleased to wear it, not so much to dazzle but to distance myself from much of my stepfathers side of the family. These events never made me comfortable. People point, people whisper about the adopted Daughter, they compare, they feel a sense of self gratitude offering their open arms like they are doing me a favor and then opening up about it so publicly for the admiration of others. while i may very well care for my step and half siblings, attending these things was a milder form of walking on glass for them. When one is a female trophy hunter, it is of the utmost crowning achievement to such families. it is very difficult to get on the registry to even participate in an auction for a high priority animal. Meredith was excited to see her first hunt because she was very much behind all her older cousins who had between 1 to 3 claimed trophy's. If she could at least have her first, she could claim her right of passage. i had my doubts that she'd be ready, she's only ever accompanied relatives on safari's and hunts, she had no skill but she seemed more concerned with having just the bragging rights of the experience. She was gushing like the sorority girl she genuinely was at our table of 5. her and i who have yet to have a hunt and her relatives of similar ages to us. "I wonder what the auction animal is gonna be. They said the location was New Guinea?" "Lucky break, the last trophy i did was in the arctic...it was a rouge walrus attacking too many penguins in the breeding grounds. " "Willow are you gonna be in the auction too?" "Nope, i'm just contributing to the conservation of the lemurs and the eating of this buffet. and the drinking of this wine... wow, did we finish 3 bottles at this table already?" "if it's a predator animal i'm pretty interested. if not i can let Meredith go ahead and slide into it. she's still just a fledgling and shit" "Shut up Christopher.... if i get this one we'd be tied" " i think one of the coordinators said it was an albino water buffalo. but there is also this lion that got castrated by a honey badger. it keeps killing cubs from other prides, they are giving us the albino trophy but the lion trophy is getting auctioned in Chicago, " "An albino that grew into adult hood in the wild? that really is a high priority." "Awww but albino animals are so pretty and rare." "But if we let them breed the off spring will be mutated, a male water buffalo could father up to 12 calf's per mating season. you don't want mutated genes spreading through the entire species." "I know, that. I pay attention to the conservation logs. they're still are pretty... but i totally understand these mutations are causing them to suffer internally and they aren't very immune to many illness." "And that's why you're so likable Willow, you keep and open mind about these things." i could feel a hand on my lap. i didn't try to look in the general direction of touchy-Magee. it's not like he was my cousin but what totally disregard. "well.. yeah being an animal lover means appreciating the protection and welfare of animals as a species, not just one individual animals that has to be sacrificed..." "exactly, we're not poachers that are hunting illegal and thinning out the species, we pay a lot of money to make sure the lands are protected from constructions tearing trees down too. whats he trying to do now... he seems to be struggling with location of the helm. fucking idiot....i'm wearing a saree, he can't climb into my skin with this fabric shield like it was a common dress... there was still no lack or trying as this creep was staring me dead in the eyes in this idle conversation as if he wasn't trying to poke and pry his fingers through my clothing. I've had about enough of it. "we'll never be better than animals, when some of us are being PIGS." He immediately drew both hands upon the napkin in-front of him and cleared his throat wearily. There was an exchange of questionable looks around the table including Meredith i had to excuse myself from making a scene, and hide out in the bathroom for the remainder of the event. No one really bothered to check on me. i would later hear that i was making a horrid tantrum over being jealous of Meredith success in the auction. i would later other things after that.
  11. "I want pizza, Conner. Buy pizza. When we get to my place?" "Anchovies?" "No. Ew...." "Not the topping, the chain. It's called anchovies. They make the pies with five cheeses instead of just mozzerella. Like asiago, romano, parmesan..." "That really sounds good for a place that really screwed themselves on the name choice. It's like they want people to think they make kryptonite pizza." "Oh wait... sorry, anchovies is actually a place back in Or...Lan.... shit." "Damn it! Now i want it... what's the matter?" "Nothing. I almost fucking said Orlando without bothering to remember it's just you and not Yasmine." "I don't know what that means but should I feel offended?" "No, I didn't mean to bring up Florida or my other flame in Florida." "That wasn't even the point, I'm bummed you compared me to Yasmine. You can talk about your conquests all day like it's my business and I don't care." "Sorry... it's not like I even have that many more girlfriends, just Yasmine. Everyone else was just a one time thing. I'm wrong about it i know. It's just that these opportunities, I take advantage and then I feel like shit later you know?" Conner was speaking very gently, almost in a manner that seemed genuine and sincere. Caused a totally change in my mood altogether. "I guess I get it... not really...but if I got to travel around and meet one cute guy after another I'd be in the same boat." We where now at my door and I fidgeted with my keys to unlock it. "See you totally get me Will. Everyone else thinks I'm bragging but I only brought it up once. " "But I'd be single. So It'd be different. I wouldn't be in a serious relationship in the first place. " "Like how you're single right now?" I could almost sense a total disregard for personal space as he squeezed passed me through the doorway without letting me through first. "Conner, what the fuck?" "What I say? You are single. What's that look for?" "You're calling me single like it applies to me that way." "Like what way? Why are you being so irrational? You've been single for 5 months. That's called being single." "It's called trying to recover cause my boyfriend died and I didn't-" "Okay I know, sorry.... I only met the guy twice, Steven, it's just that I was sure that maybe you been on the dating market on and off.... not like a boyfriend but just so your not completely lonely. Maybe you're just vulnerable? " "We're grown ass people conner. Say what you fucking mean. You're asking if I'm randomly having sex to fill a void. A void I can fill in just nicely with fried shrimp, chocolate raisins and my 1998 mixtapes. So no. I'm not fucking around." I failed to stay composed with the tears welling up and I briskly sat on the closest chair to tuck my face inside my romper. "Don't cry, I wasn't judging you. I was just curious. I'm the one fucking around, you're the one just pulling it together by yourself. I just wanted to know if we could relate on that level. I wanted you to help me." "Help how? Fasten a shock collar around your dick so you don't keep cheating on Yasmine when you leave town?" No. You want me to have the remote on hand? I can send the signal over via text message on request. No i was thinking, hold on, I can't stop laughing now... "Cause you know I'll do it. You're like my brother but i dont really respect what you're doing. " "Don't say I'm like a brother, it just makes this whole situation weirder. Don't ever say that again please." By just saying that, i think I understand now that you should probably... go home now. "How obvious exactly though? Maybe there's some other underlining reason I don't want to be like a brother. Any other reason. I just need one." Don't touch my legs pIease i was really not prepared for this... "I have been nothing but nice to you. Ive been nothing but protective over you. How do you not know I had a crush on you?" "Because that's just exactly how you treat a little sister or at best the scrawny flatchested friend from middle school that hasn't changed no matter how time or hormonal changes passes. We've been playing the same dungeons and dragons Champaign characters for 7 years. I'm Deidre the Derailer, you're Tiberius Lanceheart. That's us, and I'm calling a time out cause I'm having a metabolic acidosis for real time. Don't touch me." "I don't understand, why did you tell Cynthia you where into me? Was it just your personal secret?" "I didn't! She's a rat!was this today!" "What the fuck? Ugh... I thougth she was trying to do me a favor. " "You better just go, i think she set you up. If she's talking to Yasmine right now...." "Jesus. Fuck." "Yeah you almost had sex with me, cause Yasmine is on the rag or something, oh the horror..." "Stop it. I wanted a real relationship with you!" "Does your real girlfriend know? Because that's not how you start a real relationships with someone. Stop trying to hold me, you creep. Your just trying to take advantage." "Fine, I'm going home. But we could talk about this later. We got baggage and we should sort that out first. I don't wanna leave things like this. Try to hear me out next time. " "Whatever go home. you didnt order a pizza to wait on anyway. Leave..." "Did you still want to get pizza?" "No! Get the fuck out of my house you fucking idiot!"
  12. I lost the case again for custody of all 3 of my halfbrothers children. (he was falsely imprisoned by his ex wife. She moved another man into their home that HE owns since our father's my stepfathers death.) But Ashlynn got emancipated. So i'm pleased she's coming to live with me by choice. It was an emotionally and finacially draining struggle trying to reason with the courts that her constant running away wasn't because she was troubled. We're not fully out of the woods yet but now im laying low on the fight for my brother's children so i can recover my financial loses. Though also Tanner reached out to me upon hearing of my semi-lose. Our relationship is a complicated one. I ended it 4 years ago because i was sure i was going to win my nieces. He was an older man of 42 with a 17 year old daugther, so he was already finished raising his child. I wasn't going to drag him down in my prusuit of children and a family. Seems he's had fun and freedom and yet he feels old and unaccomplished. I can relate but reconnecting romantically certainly isn't in my plans now that i'm engaged to Jimmy. Even if i made up my mind it still weighs on me because break ups that happen on good terms are the ones that make me look over my shoulders more than the worst ones since that had been the case with Jimmy. I suck at these situations of managing between family emergencies and the men in my life. It could never feel like i'm allowed have both. If i can't then i'm an aunt for the long haul. If they dont appreciate it, they know where the door is. I'm tired. I have something to show for my sacrifies like not settleing down in all these years, selling my home, not returning to Westminster, but i'm still tired before i even got to really become a gaurdian.
  13. 4 8 Skip 4, uno! "Why do girls take forever getting ready?" "I don't know... Draw two." How do you not know you're a girl... Jimmy, Connor and Nick all look at me and snicker behind their cards. "Well, i'm not a girl girl.. So... Shut up, yall known me for years now." This was Conners basement. The base of pot smoking indie music and board games. And on occasion we set up the madden football game down here. Nick was a friend as was jimmy but Jimmy was also conner's step cousin. The nephew of conner's step dad. Jimmy was here for vacation from Georgia and he only hung with us for maybe 3 or 4 times. Jimmy was a timid feller from the country with a southern accent and mannerism. The girls where here as well 4 in total, not including me, all sharing the huge second bathroom upstairs. Conner's mom had this huge wide bathroom with studio sized vanity mirror above her dual sinks. The sinks where so far apart you couldn't touch elbows brushing your teeth if you tried. The girls loved that room. It use to be a place to just lounge and smoke but once everyone got to that dating phase it's just been the personal dressing room. The smell of weed and different perfumes infusing made us ill so we gracefully accepted the loss of our cozy house nook and retreated to the male cave. Conner pretty much ran the home as he wanted because his parents where flight attendants. They where barely ever home. They travel to many exotic and exciting places. As did conner but he needed to stay close to home to host his cousin's stay. He also wanted to keep his head down for awhile so his currant girlfriend didn't become too suspicious of his "sleeping around the world mission." "Well it's been like 3 games of uno and they aren't done yet..." "Uno doesn't take that long to play though." "Well you just got here Nick. We've been playing Jenga earlier." "Yas said something about curling her hair." "Can someone go see why they are taking so fucking long." Typical everyone looked at me. "Ugh fine... I felt like getting high off nail varnish anyway..." -------- The girls where Yasmine whom was dating conner for 3 months though they been acquainted for two years, cynthia, is nick's Current "rebound/secondary girlfriend." they only recently started dating again though nobody knows if he really called it quits with his long distance girlfriend from California. Out here in Conneticut though Yasmine was his girlfriend. And finally the two most interesting sisters Zoey and Samantha. These two are a set of very rare bi-racial twins. Samantha dated Hector and zoey was simply paired with Macho for the occasion. Both whom where already at the destination we planned to take off to. They were identical except for the fact that Zoey's skin pigment didn't blend too well in the womb so she had splooches of discolored milky skin over her light cocoa complexion, or vitiligo. Samantha was flawless. It certainly made all the difference in how people interacted with them. (But more of that later.) "Knock knock.... You bitches almost done in there. Hector texted us twice now." "Okay willow! Almost done." I had taken off but returned to the hallway upstairs again to see if i could borrow a phone as i was currently low in minutes (2009 has a shitty cellphone era.) i hadn't intended to over hear anything incriminating about me but when i heard my name from Cynthia's mouth i pretty much became invested in eaves dropping. "That's way out of line! Willow just gets on my damn nerves! Just cause she's short and shit but... She jumped on Nick's back for a piggy back ride that one time.. Remember?" What's the big deal, i horse around with him all the time..... "Yeah you just don't jump on another chicks boyfriend like that, it's just not cool... I wonder whose lap she'll sit on in the car ride this time..." We're taking two cars you drama queen... "You guys are over exaggerating... Willow is like a little sister to the guys." Thank you Zoey. Samantha threw her two cents in too. "Yasmine, your problem is with Conner. He had another girl in a couple other states so you..." "Shut the hell up.. Seriously..." "Mmhm... See that... You don't want people to tell you how it is so you try and hang willow out to dry." "Whatever... Piss off already... Let it go.. You think I'm worried? Willows not all that pretty and i still wonder myself if she's a closet lesbo of something..." "Doesn't wear make up, doesn't fix her hair, Wears her brother clothes, and shes so short! Flat chested." It was all just Yas and Cynthia now. The twins where silent aside from asking for the twezzers or more hair spray. My face was on fire so badly i could kick the damn door down but i didn't want to detere the plans to chavos. "So that Jimmy kid, he's kinda cute huh?" "Yeah he doesn't have a girlfriend back home so i think he's waiting on some summer hook up scenario or something." "Well willow is the only girl that's single too i think she's been getting lumped with him to even out the boy-girl ratio." "Well she's single and hooks up with people." " A nice country guy like him? Totally wasted on her. I feel bad. Conner could have done better with the other girls he keeps on the back burner... But then of course i'd have to beat their asses if i saw them haha." "No i think he's lucky it's willow. A friend of macho's, that dude named steve... She blew him. " "Well damn... I heard stories but she doesn't even look the type.. I've never gone down on a guy..." "Me either..." "Never gonna happen..." "I'm still waiting for the right guy... I mean id have to seriously be attached to someone to even consider that." "Okay so maybe willow is legit an issue after all... We don't suck dick... She does. Maybe that's why the guys keep her little tomboy ass around..." Yeah sure that must be it... It's so not because i supply the pot, play Madden football, supply the extra guitar hero devices or a bunch of other interest that connects me to my friends... "Yasmine seriously... You are out of your damn mind. You outta chill... She's been friends with them before you were even relevant" That's right Zoey throw them some truths. "I'm just saying... If we can't do it, they'll find another hoe that will... And Her head game has got to be spot on to compete with this." Okay bitch.... It's on... I'll play some head game's with you... ------------------- I slowly took my seat back downstairs. "Another game guys" "So, are they almost ready? Macho and Hector are already at Chavos. They texted like 4 times." "Oh, i'm not sure i mean they keep saying 5 more minutes each time i asked before so...hold on... Is there any more sodas?" I was very certain of the timing and it was pretty close. I placed my hand to my forehead and got up weakly. "My blood sugar feels low." Conner is the first to get up and shuffle over beside me. " You okay, did you bring your glucose tablets? Nick go get her a root beer or something." Jimmy is looking confused. "What's the matter? Oh my goodness, this girls bout to faint." "She is hypoglycemic. She has a condition that burns sugar from her system pretty fast she just needs more sugar." "Your face is red. Can you breath okay?" I sit in the sofa with Nick and nurse my root beer. "I'll be okay... I just need a minute. " --------------- "Y'all ready for Chavos guys?! The girls are suddenly clustering at the entrance way of the basement stairs. Nick and Jimmy didn't have much enthusiasm to respond right away but said "yes" and "whatever sure." Yasmine stomped over in her clicky high heels oddly to see if she really was seeing me with my head nested on conner's knee. His hand stroking my hair gently to soothe my pretend discomfort. She said nothing but her face noted her exasperated mood. "I'm not going, I'm gonna make sure willow gets home okay." I shook my head at conner. "I already told you, i can get home myself." Cynthia approaches me with her huge botox looking grin. "Aww baby what happened?" She gives me a loose hug. God she bathed in perfume... "I just have a migraine. I have hypoglycemia... I'm gonna go home in a bit ." "Yas, take my keys you can drive the second car. I'm gonna walk willow home." Conner gets up and braces me around the shoulder he makes no attempt to kiss yasmine back as we walk past her. Look whose blowing who off now.... Yas and cynthia would not have this but they made a civil approach. "Nick she had something to drink right? Her sugar should be stabilizing...." "That's not for you to say! Maybe if some people didn't take so fucking long getting ready!" Conner was visibly upset and everyone backed off and took upstairs to get situated in the two vehicles without another protest. We followed up the stairs closely and i said my apologies to jimmy. He seemed confused and replied that he hoped i felt better latter. We separated from the front door of the house as conner locked it. Zoey gives me a kiss. "You gonna be okay.... Do you want me to bring you back some wings or ribs?" "I'd like that. Thanks..." "Call me or samantha if anything." Zoey and Sam certainly are my friends. I feel bad for making them worry. Ashamed that i stuped to this level of head game's... And not the kind yas was worried about. Yas isn't worthy of Conner. I'm on a war path now. Burn you slag... Burn!!! "Will, you're even more red! Are you having an allergic reaction?!" "Oh um no.... Well.. I got spritzed with a lot of perfume upstairs... It really congested me." "It really drives me up the wall that yas wears so much fucking perfume... Damn it... Let's get you home in one peace." Burn...
  14. Well now there's a graphic novel thread. (I never really got into the appeal of manga) These are my current favorites.
  15. It was raining on a Thursday. The rain always worked against me and i went to work in my car rather than my bike. (People really squaked about gas prices back then and money was rather tight.) it wasn't too bad since rainy days meant hot chocolate orders and trafficking of patrons that drop all their pocket change into the tip jars like it was every ones business. I was also taking the next day off but scheduled for Sunday. i usually didn't work the sunday shift, though my pregnant co-worker (we shall just call her Cassidy for the story) requested that day off for prenatal appointments. I took up the trade cause as usual no one else outside the weekend shift would. She was grateful to my cooperation. (The other coworkers seemed like assholes but i never really bothered to notice. I was just know understanding her anxiety once i agreed and she started breathing properly once more. Seemed even the manager seemed like a sloth about it. He has the power to switch and make people do things but didn't apply it. Much of this day was spent looking at a swimsuit catalog for no real reason. It just came as mail. "I just can't tell from pictures if my bust can fit in a top like that." I couldn't disagree. What a pandering catalog. "It's annoying, this one says petite and this one says it's athletic but the models are the same person. How is she fitting in this petite? She gonna bust out." "If i still had my swimming body id either order this peacock pattern or the seafoam. You in the market for a new swimsuit? "No, i was just looking. My old one still fits pretty good. I'm not a two piece fan either." "Oh i was just asking since you kept going back to the same page as if you like this glittery one." I didn't notice i was so transfixed with that one page of the entire thick catalog. It featured a bi-racial model sporting a two piece purple fish scale pattern but i hardly noticed cause the background had pretty pink sand in the clear water. And there was a butterfly kite in the smaller picture in the corner. "I just like pink sand see? Like in pictures of Aruba.... What's the matter...?" Cassidy got up and moved off mid sentence. I could tell without looking that it was because little miss youth group was arriving. Even on a rainy day this girl didn't take a break. (We shall call her Amanda) i greeted her as if nothing was amiss but the look on her face said she saw us in conversation and looked like she had questions even but i'd be ignorant about it till she pushes. I briefly washed my hands and proceeded in my order taking mode and brought up her two doughnuts. The catalog came up, and then some pointless back to school grievances since it was now 2 weeks away and she hadn't read any books for the summer. "You don't wanna wait last minute... I'm currently reading the grapes of wrath. I think ill write a thesis on all the religious allegories in it." "Sounds familiar..." Steinback. He wrote of mice and men, the winter of our discontent, east of eden." "Don't know them. Do you keep all your reports on hand?" "Well i remember enough that i could write up some quick notes but you'd still have to do the reading of the plot devices....it's almost the end of my shift so im gonna go mop up real fast. Dont you usually mop on fridays? Thats tomorrow. " Yeah but I wont be here tomorrow, i changed shifts for sunday. But i know that if i don't mop now, it wont get done. Walter hates mopping and i don't want Cassidy to strain herself its a heavy mop to push." She evil eyed me. With nothing but an "oh..." I pretend not to notice and start mixing my chemicals into the water. There was hardly any degreaser in the bottle to add. "Is there not another thing of degreaser? Tiffany?" Tiffany makes no attempt to look up from her phone and just says "that's for the ovens." "I like adding it to the mop water cause it keeps the floor cleaner over time. It's the only reason we don't have to mop everyday." Tiff just shrugs and i'm fixing to get irritated if i have to walk to the storage room myself but luckily, Cass comes over with the new container of degreaser and carries off with the soap and bleach containers." "Did you clock out yet? Don't take off yet. Ill give you a ride. Let me finish mopping." "Okay thanks" cassidy disappears to the back and as i proceed to move the chairs atop the tables, Amanda confronts me in a harsh whisper. " what are you doing? I thought we'd hang out after work. What about those notes?" " but i don't even have time for that today. I have to babysit and do my grandmas laundry. I have to pick it up and drop it off at the senior home. Ill write them for you by sunday." "Well i thought i'd ask for a ride but forget it i guess..." She made it sound like it was my fault she walked over here in the rain nobody asked her to be here. "She's pregnant, she's 17, it's raining, her bus comes 15 minutes after she clocks out so... Since i have my car, I'm gonna give her a ride." She evil eyed me again. But i clacked up the final chairs and grabbed my mop without a pause in between "You're more than welcomed to tag along if you don't make a ruckus. My car can fit the both of you just sit at the back and ignore...Amanda the floor is still wet! Amanda was already sliding the hood of her coat over her head and stomping out the door and out into the rain like i didn't exist. I don't know if i cared enough. Usually when i don't exist im use to it. If i'm ignored, oh well. I was just accustomed to it. But it different when you don't exist to begin with and when you did exist but then you stop existing. While my lack of care and concern was similar something was still off. I packed up my hot coco and warm bagels and dropped Cassidy off it was about 9 minutes. 15 minute bus wait seemed ridiculous but there was only one car available in her family of 4. I considered making an effort to drive her around more in exchange for her bus fair two dollars from her portions of the tips at least. She was delighted and relieved because the other co-workers seemed like asses. " watch your step on the porch its slippery. Good luck at your appointment." "Thanks... Oh by the way. My baby shower..." she didn't even try to rush inside to avoid the rain she just stood outside the car door "Do you want to come if you can get the day off we haven't decided on a theme yet. So we didn't even write up invitations but..." "Sure ill see, just hurry up, its cold or at least get back in the car. " i had to cut her off cause it just wasn't the right scenario having a lengthy conversation as water poured down her forehead, nose and chin like she was under a shower facet. Okay see ya around thanks for the ride. "Sure." i rummage my bagel bag for the cream cheese and a spork given i was free to eat. When I looked back up and see that Cassidy is now sitting on the porch. I wait only a few moments just to be sure she wasn't just waiting on the door to be open as she rested. I imagine pregnancy is exhausting like that. Curiosity became concern and I rolled my window down. "What are you doing Cassidy?" "Nobody is home yet. The door is locked and they didn't know i was gonna be here this early." "Get back in the car then. You should have just told me..." she returns to the passenger side and climbs in "You don't have your own key?" "Well they don't usually leave me by myself at home. They think i'll steal things." she started to breath on her cold fingers just after she had said this so casually, so unhinged like this was just life. "Do you have somewhere to be? I don't want you to be late or anything." she was already opening the door to step out. The bite of bagel i just shallowed wanted to come back up and suffocated me. Not today you yeasty son of a bitch.... "You ask that like i'm gonna just leave you out here. That's not even like a choice. I have to shower and change clothes before going to my baby sitting place. So you may as well come with me. I'll just pop over here on the way." She agreed in relief. I could say nothing else but look in the mirror and make involuntary short glances at her. At her stomach. At myself in the mirror again. It's even a miracle i got home without paying attention to the roads. I was careful enough dwelling on the safety of that unborn baby in my car. Even as a baby sitter, as a caregiver of half siblings and little cousins for much of my life, i never really felt the gravity of my influence and presence. I knew they ate, i knew where they sleep i knew when they lie. Why sticking playdoh inside lego pieces seemed like a cool idea to the 6 year old mind. I didn't know this one. This was maybe the first time my nurturing instincts awoke to this degree. It's my biggest vulnerability. only children and animals can trap me. I didn't like it. But its just my destiny and cross to bare and there's no way out of getting invested now. I hate the rain.
  16. These aren't stories/memory that have any real significance. It's just occurrences from my youth that i want to recount to my soon maturing niece. I figured, well she's not the only teen that needs guidance or a personal story to relate to so it's share time. The first one i shall call... the webster drive youth group. It was summer i was 19, and working at a new dunkin donuts. I had been working for the same chain for a few months only now i had gotten transferred to a different one but still in the same town. I was not initially chosen to be moved but another employee had hesitations. I did not care either way. In my entire lifespan i have been known to be a placid and indifferent individual. I never rooted myself or attached myself to what was familiar and repetitive. I was maybe the only one of the originals in the work group that didn't exchange numbers or socialized freely when it was work time and not my own time. The transfer in itself was no issue i was familiar with what to do, be it inventory, register, cleaning. The weeks of work went by with no real occurrence. There was however a 17 year old girl i worked the same shift with tuesdays and fridays with. She was visibly pregnant and i'd loved to say that i didn't really care either way or i simply do not pay notice, it was not a huge deal to me, i had cousins and the teen girlfriend of my brother that was pregnant. It didn't phase me. I liked minding my own business. Or At least that had always been the case before hand. That changed when THEY entered the establishment one unfortunate day. The Youth group she was acquainted with back in her sophomore year of high school. On the surface they seemed quite, nice and tame and the encounter wasn't odd as the order and service exchanges took place. I was managing the register as she was gathering the requested donuts for their full dozen order. Nothing odd there. It wasn't until i was clocked out and proceeded toward my bike around 6 in the evening that i was approached by 2 of them. A girl and a boy. They seem to want to berate at me about her. About the "sinful tramp." I didn't know what to make of the situation. I don't know them, i don't really know her for that matter. I mounted my bike and briefly explain i only work with her and i no longer even attend high school. They seemed convinced and went on their way. I went to my baby sitting job from there, simple as that, just dismissing it as silly highschool petty nonsense. Sadly i would see the girl again some days latter. Then again and again through the summer of my employment there. She'd smile at me and try to make conversations as i worked while it was not very busy and had a light customer flow. Asked about my college plans and tuition and my babysitting... I forced a fake mannerism of flattery and equal interest but it simply could not have been more obvious that she was going through such a show of fawning over me as she ignored or made no attempt to acknowledge my co-worker. Sometimes she came with a friend. This insincerity made me nauseous. Anyone else may very well be sold on being called cool or pretty but of course i was mute most of my childhood and in social situations now i just rather avoid it then go into it with training wheels. I'm stoic and disinterested but the point seemed to be that they could boast about hanging out with a 19 year old college student all summer... Be it a boring one like myself i was doing nothing but trying to earn my paychecks. I knew i would have to find some way to deter them from me and from making my coworker uncomfortable all together. I would have to do so playing their game. Rest of this story is soon to come.
  17. What ever the case is, there's no time to be looking behind me on a regular basis. I have custody of my nieces for the time again...(half brother is deployed, ex-sis in law can't stay off the cps radar) so for the most part I've been ignoring my fiance and the antics of these supposed friends. Maybe i should feel bad but i don't. I have to move us to a bigger home. Well I don't have to but i was ready to keep the kids last time. It never happened but a new bigger house could change everything. Aside from family, I don't really care if i see anyone one else again if i move away.
  18. I'm not bummed because i don't want to be with my fiance. I'm bummed because there's this change in my group of friends suddenly. I didn't expect this because they know how sexually liberated i was, they know i wasn't gonna settle in my 20's or ever even. They understood this and excepted this. they never batted an eyelash if they saw me with a different person at the bar or the sushi place. They don't tell me what to do, they don't question if i am being reckless, nothing. Now i am going to finally settle with this man and they have become very toxic about it. Up to doing very sneaky backhanded things. They text or call us up to see that we're in the same location together or not, they keep trying to have conversation with him about my past that he already very much knows about but they want to keep putting it over his head. i mentioned that i wanted to knit him a piece of shit looking scarf for the fun of it because i have a shitty scarf, and this one shows up one day and drops off matching store purchased scarfs for us so the effort i put into this scarf i didn't even give him was for nothing. He asked me recently about my thoughts on a vasectomy, i never even mentioned such a thing. He thinks it's something i talked with them about and they are just now popping the topic on him like it was part of our casual girl banter. Realistically i was texting at least 2 people to see who could pick up my birth control refill for me because i got held up doing inventory. When he had his lunch schedule at work changed.... "awwww and you didn't tell me?" (i know right? you don't wanna walk past the cafe where we lunch at the wrong time? you don't have shit to do?) When he's reading a book like he always did before we became exclusive.... "hey tell me all about that book that looks like an interesting book" (that's just another war hammer gaming manuals... you see him with these codex 1-4 times....) When he gave out candy on Halloween like any other fucking average person.... "oh my god you are just the best with kids! oh... it's not like Willow want's kids though right?" (that was very subtle, next time say it with i'm not within ear shot.) When i was making some cocoa. "He likes his with peanut butter chips not nutella right? I remembered!" ( i fucking remembered too that's why i had the peanut butter chips right fucking there...) I don't think i'm wrong to be a bit hostile about their sneaky, odd, passive aggressive behavior. They never acted like this before. Even when there was always exclusion of me, i was not really bothered cause it wasn't a thing of drama and backstabbing tendencies. It's like going backwards because now it's all immaturity and head games and we were so tame and civil when we were younger. Well not fully tame, we still drunk our asses off, smoked like it was wood stock, made bad judgments, made dumb choices, trusted the wrong people among other things. But we didn't resort to being petty to each other in the school girl fashion. It has been catching me off guard. They bother me now, maybe it's because i'm trying to really invest and care about someone now. I didn't care before, so i suppose they couldn't touch me when there was nothing I was emotionally invested in or even if they did i must not have noticed. I would remember if i did something to warrant these head games. i would remember if i crossed any lines or boundaries or broke any girl code. Maybe that's just marriage in general, people testing to take it away from you. I know that's what it is but i just didn't expect it to be people more bonded to me. I wasn't prepared for it to be them of all people.
  19. I never wanted to get engaged. I always said no. I said no 4 times between to 3 different men. I didn't want to settle. Everyone i know got married before or a little after they turned 21. i chased my career and and kept relationships on the back burner. I wasn't bitter, I wasn't jealous but yeah it irritated me. I get mad about it. Sometimes i was single, and sometimes i did have a relationship, a lot of the times maybe you could claim i toss it around. I know it's looked down on. I know these things but i just didn't care. i was young and just wanted to test the waters and have experiences first. My brain works completely different from everyone and i'm not a completely emotionally insecure creature in a rush to find her place in the world. It's a miracle i even got engaged, anyone who knows me personally could tell you. Why in the fuck did anyone even want to settle with me anyways? I know there's so many women out there ready to trap and control the lives of men but i didn't set a whole better standard either just cause i sleep with them after processing them and then not give a fuck about what they want to do with themselves after wards. it was all mostly unrealistic relationship standards such encounters as... well details are not important but my fiance was a dude that lived through these encounters with me and thought whoa, she's the one! i guess considering the circumstances nobody needs to be happy for us. I don't care. i think i decided a long time ago i wasn't going to care. i was always saying marriage was not going to happen. Not because i was invested in my job, hobbies, interest and ambitions but also cause there likely wasn't a man alive to tolerate my choices and that was fair, why should they? but someone did. Now it's permanently exclusive. What ever the relationship case was in the past, I simply wasn't married i wasn't attached legally so i wasn't in that wifey circle. I didn't get invited to thing's like dinner parties or play dates, baby yoga, double dates, I am the fucking Godmother of 3 kids out of convenience i suppose... and a few times they had me drop off baby shower gifts and then be on my way as they awkwardly played it like i was the one who was too busy to stay. It bites like hell just because when i try to be in a piece of that world for them they have to remind me that not my place. i don't have any business in that world. i wasn't married so that means i'm not family oriented or some contrived bullshit like that. I get engaged now and announce my engagement in a flat indifferent tone to be honest. (I honestly don't hype these kind of things up, i don't think it's warranted to bragging rights. It's not special, everyone gets fucking married eventually.) and i get reactions of snickering and "honey you're 30, that ship has sailed, your due to retire in two years even. who gets married in their 30's? Girl you wasted your prime. we stopped being like the sex in the city chicks ages ago and you're getting the memo now?" (theye where never like sex in the city they are like the stepford wives... way more cringy) Well... okay.... okay whatever i wasn't even that happy for myself, this isn't life changing to me cause i won't let it be, i don't need that tax break or an insurance update that badly anyways... I know I don't deserve this event anyways because I've been curbing my fiance on and off for 3 years so i'm just gonna be humble about it but you know the guy, you were always on his side, you always tried to be behind his effort to pursue me, you could at least be proud of him, this is his achievement. Well whatever, I didn't need you squealing like a beaten pig anyways but you don't have to be passive aggressive about it either. I pretended to be excited for you. I pretended to be excited for all 3 or 2 or future amounts of your engagements so fuck off. I don't even want a ceremony because it's me of all people. It's as if it's not a typical wedding if it's me. It's like it a celebration of me officially living and sleeping exclusively with one person but they know i'll still watch porn. And i don't care who knows it but i don't need a huge party set around it. That's another reason i just can't seem to care. No point in pretending for everyone else.
  20. My theories into what happened to everyone that went missing. 1. If they where always going around sobbing about killing themselves, they probably killed themselves. RIP 2. They said something stupid and redundant and when someone laid down some facts to them they got embarrassed and just never came back 3. They got caught faking a site models identity and just didn't bother to come back or maybe got banned 4. They are currently trying to start a horrible scremo band called Unicorn killed my girlfriend. 5. They followed Eugenia Cooney's emo cult and fell into an anorexic death 6. They hang out at google plus where they can role play as site model characters and get thumbs up and likes and compliments just for sharing photos of emo couples and my chemical romance lyrics. Because why not get attention and praise for shit you hardly took any personal effort into doing. 7. ONE person possibly got the emo dream of a lifetime and actually does work at the bullshit hot topic maybe has said nothing because the other emos will be jealous. 8. They get triggered when the topic of Donald Trump comes up on the internet 9. They hooked up with some pedophile somewhere down the road who is 27 and appeals to them cause he dresses all black too and is a total man child he likely lives off social security checks for some very vague mental illness. They stay off social media cause their friends couldn't appreciate the relationship or something. They're gonna settle till the fucker gets arrested or some shit cause they found that emo boyfriend they been hunting for since forever and you know how emo teens are, as long as it's an emo that's not fat all other standards, details and personality traits are irrelevant. 10. Emo is actually MAINSTREAM. it has been MAINSTREAM in the last 7 freaking years but they are now catching on that it was MAINSTREAM and CONFORMIST and they immediately had to transition into another subculture like, ethereal moon children, straigth edge or nu kei to ensure they are still rare special snowflakes. Cause no one is gonna give a fuck anymore that they keep popping up on social media repeating over and over. "I'm emo, i'm emo, this is just who i am, i'm emo, i'm an emo, I am declaring that i am an emo! this is my personality and identity. Emo! Emo 4-ever! You need know literally nothing else but the fact that i am an emo! acknowledge me as special! I'm emo!" 11.They are reading and creating fan-fiction where they are hooking up with Andy Biersack. Sometimes Andy is a Rapist Vampire in their universe sometimes he turns into Jeff the killer or whatever makes perpetual 12 year old's cream themselves. 12. They have no life skills cause all they did was listen to music, stalk fanbase forums watch anime and creepy pastas and need to find some work when they turn 18. So lots of lazy asshole coming into age get stationed into the military over seas. 13. Most of them fancy themselves as awkward... ahem i mean "mysterious" Gothic-like loners in the first place. Maybe they are finally doing it properly.Cause the "mysterious" ones always did have a habit of being in our faces about just how mysterious and vexing their lives are. 14. Maybe they grew the fuck up already and feel stupid for why they obsessed with being emo and trying to get everyone to respect emo and pick fights with people who stereotype emo's instead of being mad at the emos that perpetuate the stereotype. Sometimes it's time for people to stop wasting their damn lives. These are all possibilities, some more likely then others.
  21. -Breaths- Okay Guys..... A woman has a close male friend..... This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.... If this is the default you want. Go listen to Tara's pro-friendzone default that doesn't even apply to my altered deviation life hack.
  22. Like i was saying.... Stuck in the FRIENDZONE. Forever friends and not much else. So i guess you addressed my point. Thank you.
  23. Every so often we find these "OMG we're breaking up, what do i do? what do i do?! I'll die!" First breath, get your shit together, Cause I'll just put it out there for all that I recommend that you should NEVER friend an Ex. Don't do it, it's not healthy, it's not a legit alternative, it just makes things worse. Sad and creepy... Course when i leave this advice, it's always in the form of a response on someone else's thread so it's not like everyone see's it or notices it and before you know it someone else needed the same thing and missed me completely. Also i didn't really leave a good reason why in my mind it should go without saying, it's just logic, the reasons are so obvious they don't need explaining. So again it's one of those learning things on my part that my mind is NOT everyone else's mind. Common sense is not....common. The whole "just be friends and see how it goes from there" fuck that, don't do it, don't take the bait. Those people either do not know what they are talking about, have a false perspective of how things work. or are too optimistic cause they watch too much high school musical or Gilmore girls, or just have a tendency to show weakness in all situations of their lives. Whatever the reason, they are just setting you up for failure. Think the sneaky, sociopathic way. Be the table-turning bitch. Use the lateral prefrontal cortex. (the part of the brain that goes active when your are being deceptive. why do you think you have it? for that propose, because deception protects people.) If shitty things are just happening to you it's because you let them. Note: this advice is not for everyone. Also maybe it's too late for you to put it to work but if not, you can be prepared in the future cause life throws these kinda things cause she's a total bitch or just trying to do you a favor she's bipolar or some shit. Idfk. I don't like her all the time. Speaking of time, well time is another mother fucker, waits for no one, you're gonna roll on his schedule LIFE is HIS bitch. Okaaaaay, getting off track here... So you’re in this situation where you’re thinking, “my ex wants to be friends with me, but I really want them back, I just don’t know how to turn this situation around so that they’ll want me as a partner again.” Don't... just don't fucking do that when the moment starts to process, I’m gonna show you how to flip the script on this so that they may comes back to you. Firstly this situation is common after a break up in which ex was the one to end it. Friendship is the way of keeping you in the picture enough that they won’t suffer too much emotionally after ending it. The problems with accepting the offer of friendship are that A. it makes you look fucking desperate, and B. they also lose respect for you from seeing that you will accept scraps even though you wanted much more. They know that the high Dating Market Value (DMV) guy who they wants to lock down in a relationship, would never accept those terms: Ex: “I want to be just friends” You: “no thanks, good luck” See, it's just that fucking simple mates. Cut the puppet strings of failed friendship to come! Snip snip snip. Fuck you, you metaphor that explains how people become emotional crutches to drag around. That is how a high DMV guy reacts, therefore it’s how YOU should react. Then after that, do a NO CONTACT PERIOD and focus on literally anything else It can push up your DMV if you are to spend time away from them immediately after they offers friendship, because continuing to see them in that time will only push you further and further into the friend zone. A better situation is if you get there first in offering to be friends. It is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT if it is you offering the friendship! It does depend how you offer it though. Ex: “I can’t do this anymore, we are done” You: “Cool, let’s spend some time apart and then maybe I’ll let you be my friend” If you say that, you flip the chasing-dynamic script on them completely. Ex dumping you (so that’s their high DMV and yours lower), but then instead of breaking down and begging like a low DMV person would (giving ex confirmation that your DMV is lower than theirs), you instead seem totally cool with it and offer them scraps (friendship). That raises your DMV back up because only a Person with options (pre-selection) would do that. This is when you could have a situation where the ex starts backtracking on the decision and going from, “my ex wants to be friends” to “holy shit ex wants me back”. I had this backtracking situation happen to me, and although I didn’t offer to be friends, I seemed reasonably unaffected by his decision to end it, nodded my head to acknowledge that decision, and then I walked away without a word. As I walked away I could hear him backtracking on the decision and telling me to wait because he wasn’t sure, but I knew that at that point the attraction was low and that if I had turned around and gone back at that moment, I would’ve been making myself too easy (low DMV) and he would have changed his mind again. After that I ran my no contact period. Fuck you, i'm not a beta, i'll walk the fuck home. (don't actually walk 2 miles back home if it's you some day, i'm just saying...) So, if your ex girlfriend/boyfriend wants to be friends, calmly brush off the offer, and then run an effective no contact period after that Because seeing them when they are in a place emotionally where they wants to be friends with you, is just gonna push you further into that friend zone. You have to be very careful with the whole friendship thing. Fuck scarps. If you take them, ex could probably do better than your desperate, lowly, do-nothing self, getting dragged around forever, dropping everything to please them with no results. Turn it around on them.
  24. Eat something while you contemplate why you're giving young girls a false perspective of beauty standards.
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