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ThyArtIsLexi last won the day on October 9 2015

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2 'Who is this kid?'

About ThyArtIsLexi

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  1. I'm a really big fan of deathcore and death metal. I was wondering if anyone could recommend some groups similar to the ones I listen to? I also like technical deathcore, such as Rings of Saturn ^ - ^ Thanks I'd really appreciate it, considering I'm running out of things to listen to. Here's a short list of some of the things I listen to Chelsea Gr­in, Thy Ar­t Is Murde­r, Existence Has Failed, Rings o­f Saturn, ­Suicide Si­lence, Car­nifex, Kor­n, Interru­pting Cow,­ Infant An­nihilator,­ Get Scare­d, Angelma­ker, Face ­Your Maker­, Plan To ­Prosper,­ Whitechap­el, The Ba­ttle Withi­n, Breakdo­wn of Sani­ty, Emmure­, Headwoun­d The Pony­, Eat A He­licopter, ­Kataklysm,­ Lorelei ,­ Slayer, M­egadeth, C­annibal Co­rpse, Brin­g Me The H­orizon, Th­e Boy Will­ Drown, Pi­nk Floyd, ­Hollywood ­Undead, Ma­ke Them Su­ffer, Meta­llica, Bur­ning The M­asses, Adi­aphorA, Al­l Shall Pe­rish,Abima­el, A Diff­erent Bree­d of Kille­r, Bury To­morrow. My­ Dying Bri­de, Winds ­of Plague,­ Fit For A­n Autopsy,­ Goreguts,­ The Black­ Dahlia Mu­rder, Tas­ters, Kubl­ai Khan, S­ignal The ­Firing Squ­ad, Gift G­iver, Dept­hs of Hatr­ed, Impend­ing Doom, ­ect c:
  2. This is a poem/story I wrote not too long ago. Enjoy~ A cold, dark, lonely room, Empty, devoid of life Save for one soul A girl sits, huddled in her corner Pale moonlight spilling in through the window adjacent to her Licking her toes Her arms are wrapped around her knees Tears are slowly streaming down her pale cheeks Yet, she feels nothing There is not a sound But yet so many in her head All the voices, all the memories Will never leave her mind She grips her leg at this thought So hard, Wiling the thoughts to empty out of her mind So hard, Invisible blood leaks from her wounds Internally For the girl can no longer bleed at all She is waiting, forever watching the world Through cold and uncaring eyes She can never be part of it She can never be who she once was Back when she was alive Back when she was whole She is doomed to this eternal existence This is truly no existence at all, She cannot feel But yet she weeps For the memories are so strong So potent It feels as though she can reach out and touch them To be alive again To feel the warmth of the sun Rather than the endless cold For many years, She simply watched Watched her family grow old Moved on, Without her Her mother never stopped crying Eventually, Her father’s alcohol addiction proved fatal He was never much of a drinker Till his daughter killed herself On that tragic day, He became wild, violent So uncaring, Her mother confined herself to her bedroom Not eating, Nor drinking Nor living, Her brother began to experiment with poisons A taste the tongue could not acquire enough of “It’s just a cut” His sister had said to him “It really helps me” “But it hurts me”, He had said to her Just a cut Just a scratch Where did it all begin? When did she grow so cold? It was just a cut They were just words But now she watches, So lifeless, No one took notice Of the soul that slowly withered inside Everything had been burned away Crumbled to ash Belongings left to dust That day the bullet entered her brain, Her room remained the same Although her brother often entered Held her photo And cried, He touched her things He tried to never forget Those wounds that ripped open Just by looking Her smell was fading Dust collected on her things, Slowly, Her brother stopped visiting, The room was boarded up, Left to rot Memories left to fade, Please don’t forget me, She pleads to the empty house She watched, Helplessly She watched her mother slowly faded away Something akin to death Lonely So cold So broken Forever broken Her best friend always blamed herself And became so reckless Pregnant at 19 years old, No father to be found Eventually, she overdosed On heroine Died in a cold dark alley One snowy Christmas Her child frozen in her arms The bully never forgot what she had done Never forgot anything Not a single word Started cutting words into her skin All those words, that helped her sin Went to therapy But not much worked Forever awake Never to sleep again The girl remembers the day That she died It was no quick deed But over time With every word A little more of her died Till she was just a husk An empty shell of a person The teachers noticed the signs But never acted “It’s just a phase.” They all had said They had seen the cuts They had seen the scars on the girl’s wrists They will never forget The regret will never fade The boy that had secretly admired her Keeps her picture tucked under his pillow And whispers to it every night “If only I had said something sooner” “No.” The girl whispered at last This can’t be right. She had never intended All of this She just wanted relief For the pain to end Never did she think That she would hurt so many The object of nightmares and regret No This was never how she wanted to be remembered She wished She could have told mom “It was never your fault.” And that she loved her And that she loved dad He was not the weak one She wished she could tell her brother “Drugs are more harmful to the body than cutting”, “Please don’t destroy yourself anymore” She wanted to tell the teachers It was her fault for not speaking up She longed to whisper to the bully “I forgive you.” “Don’t end up like me.” She wished to tell her best friend, “Everything will be okay.” She wanted to tell the boy “It’s okay. I will never forget you.” More than anything She wanted to tell them all “Please live, and never forget me.” If only they knew How badly she wanted them to live Because life is precious And she had wasted it Each tear, Another regret, Another memory, That slowly fades into nothing Now she sits, All alone As the world keeps turning In an empty house Full of regret Full of longing Staring out the window Remembering what had once been Her life
  3. So uhm... here's something I wrote. It's actually a short story. Constructive criticism/comments appreciated :3 Screaming, always the screaming. She is sitting in the corner of the cold, dark room, the girl who is whole heartedly broken. She cannot cite, nor begin to comprehend when the beginning of the end slipped through the little comfort she thought she had once known. It was all an illusion, a clever hoax. Her thoughts are all consuming, a constant war within her mind where nothing is definite and all the facts are completely unknown. In her small world, everything conflicts. Pale moonlight pools in through the one window in her room, where she had once stared out into the open world, hoping, desiring , despairing. The screaming had drawn closer now, but the girl did not care, for she had known this before. Her faith and strength had too eluded her long ago. She would not cry, she told herself, she would not cry because crying would display her true weakness and flaw. Closing her eyes she prayed to a god she knew did not exist. There was no one that could save her. Had she only the strength to save herself, had she only that strength then perhaps she would fight. But here in this lifeless room, desolation prevailed. Shivering, the girl removes herself from her corner. But as her frail feet stumble across the floor, a door opens. A voice, feminine, breaks through the girl's only false sanctuary. "Don't you know what time it is, bitch?" The voice questions drunkenly. The girl does not turn around, nor does she answer. Words are meaningless here in this world, her words could not save her. Fear hovers at the edge of her mind , though the girl cannot identify why. The voice belongs to a human, just like any other, no more, no less. Still, she is frightened. Involuntary, the girl trembles. The voice laughs but fades away. The voice is not real, her thoughts are betraying her once more. Her thoughts seemed real sometimes, and the wounds they inflicted at times seemed just as so. Doors in her mind keep opening and closing. The truth, could she ever understand the truth? Could she even fathom the absolute truth? Memories lie, people lie; she lives in a world of lies. Everyday, she listens, watches and waits patiently for something, anything, to make sense in her clouded head. Nobody around her can see how she sits trapped inside her own head. Then again, no one ever cared to truly acknowledge her pathetic existence. In her head, she knew that loneliness was the beginning of her demise, though her heart spoke that her downfall was brought on by consistent betrayal that polluted her life and her very being. The girl does not want to remember, but she can never forget. Her life of lies was her fault, because she could not open her eyes to accept reality. Despair fills her insides, sharp pain courses through her heart and stomach like a stab wound. She must not cry. But she can recall the feeling of the cold steel piercing through her heart. This is one of the girl's many thoughts that she obsesses over. No one could understand her severe lack of trust, but her past was still her present. Her demons clung to her, they wrapped their claws around her neck, drawing the air out of her lungs and tried to sink her into the earth.This was yet another struggle unseen by the normal eye. The memories still burned fiercely in her mind. People have always told the girl to cheer up and live life, but they cannot see her the way she truly is, behind the black curtains that veil her existence. Desolation is inescapable, because no matter who the girl has around her, the veil separates her existence from the other's. The girl rubs her weary eyes; she has not slept in days. All she wants to do is sleep, but the nightmares and thoughts ravage her mind and she cannot escape. The house has grown silent now, all battles put to rest, except the girl's own. She retreats to her bed, where there is still no warmth to be found. Staring up at the thick darkness, her thoughts continue to rage and cloud any coherent thoughts. The next day, in mere hours, the girl would attend school, where the broken dreams and the faceless nothings dwelled. She would drift through the crowded but empty hallways as the students who existed but did not exist at all laughed merrily with their friends. A world of lies. She would try to look upon their faces and understand, but they always appeared featureless in her unforgiving eyes. They would bump into her and hardly pay her any mind, but that would always be what the girl preferred. The girl yawns. In that prison, she would be told to sit and care about information useless to her lifeless existence. In that prison, her existence would be wasted, every ounce of her potential ebbed away as she conforms to everyday life. The girl's eyes start to slowly close. She doesn't want to close her eyes, but she must, she wants to see. Things have always been like this maybe tomorrow, though, things will be different. An alarm clock sounds off from across the room, reading four-o'clock a.m. Cursing, the girl forces herself out of bed. Another morning, another struggle. - Three hours and fifteen minutes later- The girl is in class now, staring blankly at the teacher lecturing at the front of the room. She is in the back, now drawing and day dreaming. The girl does not worry that anyone will see what she scribbles on her paper, because all the desks around her are empty. The whole classroom is completely empty, but she can still hear the teacher's voice continuing to spew unimportant facts to the students that cannot exist. None of it matters because his existence is separate from her own. Eventually, the bell rings and the girl moves on to her next prison cell. They're all like puppets to her, moving as if mechanical even. She gazes at each of her teachers with likewise blank expressions. Today would be no different than any other day.
  4. Ello, I'm new. Kind of~

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