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Found 40 results

  1. deadsexbunny

    suicidal

    Does anyone ever get to that point and survive, I've been to it and stopped but it always comes back so is it really avoidable? I'd like to think that it is but like I'm stuck in this back and forth cycle of death or life.
  2. deadsexbunny

    alone

    when you are alone and on a site full of lonely people and you still don't fit in. That's just me I guess.
  3. deadsexbunny

    Just feeeling sad

    From the album: Brat

  4. deadsexbunny

    Roots

    Where is my strength? When I need to grow larger then this seed I'm stuck in it seems my roots won't take to the soil I have been given. Fear of breaching the surface, facing the sunny sky's my one life has to offer me. Fear of the raining storms and freezing conditions I must survive in. I keep getting small bits of water, barley enough to survive. I know there is more up there but the solitude and warmth here pleases me. Who needs to grow anyways? If I don't things will never, ever change. I will never feel the warmth of the sun, nor the heat of the sweaty palms that picks me out of love for another. I will never blossom to my full potential or feel the tears of joy from the families who've gained a new life. I will never feel the pain of a child stepping on me or the wind that so graciously brought me to this very spot. I will feel nothing outside of this lonely shell ever and I can't handle the idea of never experiencing anything. Even if I am a little weed in this world full of roses and daisies I must know what its like to be picked, looked at and cherished even if its only for a few seconds. Because I am a flower and despite what I may become I was made to grow. I think my roots jut took to the dirt.
  5. deadsexbunny

    Roots

    Where is my strength? When I need to grow larger then this seed I'm stuck in it seems my roots won't take to the soil I have been given. Fear of breaching the surface, facing the sunny sky's my one life has to offer me. Fear of the raining storms and freezing conditions I must survive in. I keep getting small bits of water, barley enough to survive. I know there is more up there but the solitude and warmth here pleases me. Who needs to grow anyways? If I don't things will never, ever change. I will never feel the warmth of the sun, nor the heat of the sweaty palms that picks me out of love for another. I will never blossom to my full potential or feel the tears of joy from the families who've gained a new life. I will never feel the pain of a child stepping on me or the wind that so graciously brought me to this very spot. I will feel nothing outside of this lonely shell ever and I can't handle the idea of never experiencing anything. Even if I am a little weed in this world full of roses and daisies I must know what its like to be picked, looked at and cherished even if its only for a few seconds. Because I am a flower and despite what I may become I was made to grow. I think my roots jut took to the dirt.
  6. ThyArtIsLexi

    Remembering

    This is a poem/story I wrote not too long ago. Enjoy~ A cold, dark, lonely room, Empty, devoid of life Save for one soul A girl sits, huddled in her corner Pale moonlight spilling in through the window adjacent to her Licking her toes Her arms are wrapped around her knees Tears are slowly streaming down her pale cheeks Yet, she feels nothing There is not a sound But yet so many in her head All the voices, all the memories Will never leave her mind She grips her leg at this thought So hard, Wiling the thoughts to empty out of her mind So hard, Invisible blood leaks from her wounds Internally For the girl can no longer bleed at all She is waiting, forever watching the world Through cold and uncaring eyes She can never be part of it She can never be who she once was Back when she was alive Back when she was whole She is doomed to this eternal existence This is truly no existence at all, She cannot feel But yet she weeps For the memories are so strong So potent It feels as though she can reach out and touch them To be alive again To feel the warmth of the sun Rather than the endless cold For many years, She simply watched Watched her family grow old Moved on, Without her Her mother never stopped crying Eventually, Her father’s alcohol addiction proved fatal He was never much of a drinker Till his daughter killed herself On that tragic day, He became wild, violent So uncaring, Her mother confined herself to her bedroom Not eating, Nor drinking Nor living, Her brother began to experiment with poisons A taste the tongue could not acquire enough of “It’s just a cut” His sister had said to him “It really helps me” “But it hurts me”, He had said to her Just a cut Just a scratch Where did it all begin? When did she grow so cold? It was just a cut They were just words But now she watches, So lifeless, No one took notice Of the soul that slowly withered inside Everything had been burned away Crumbled to ash Belongings left to dust That day the bullet entered her brain, Her room remained the same Although her brother often entered Held her photo And cried, He touched her things He tried to never forget Those wounds that ripped open Just by looking Her smell was fading Dust collected on her things, Slowly, Her brother stopped visiting, The room was boarded up, Left to rot Memories left to fade, Please don’t forget me, She pleads to the empty house She watched, Helplessly She watched her mother slowly faded away Something akin to death Lonely So cold So broken Forever broken Her best friend always blamed herself And became so reckless Pregnant at 19 years old, No father to be found Eventually, she overdosed On heroine Died in a cold dark alley One snowy Christmas Her child frozen in her arms The bully never forgot what she had done Never forgot anything Not a single word Started cutting words into her skin All those words, that helped her sin Went to therapy But not much worked Forever awake Never to sleep again The girl remembers the day That she died It was no quick deed But over time With every word A little more of her died Till she was just a husk An empty shell of a person The teachers noticed the signs But never acted “It’s just a phase.” They all had said They had seen the cuts They had seen the scars on the girl’s wrists They will never forget The regret will never fade The boy that had secretly admired her Keeps her picture tucked under his pillow And whispers to it every night “If only I had said something sooner” “No.” The girl whispered at last This can’t be right. She had never intended All of this She just wanted relief For the pain to end Never did she think That she would hurt so many The object of nightmares and regret No This was never how she wanted to be remembered She wished She could have told mom “It was never your fault.” And that she loved her And that she loved dad He was not the weak one She wished she could tell her brother “Drugs are more harmful to the body than cutting”, “Please don’t destroy yourself anymore” She wanted to tell the teachers It was her fault for not speaking up She longed to whisper to the bully “I forgive you.” “Don’t end up like me.” She wished to tell her best friend, “Everything will be okay.” She wanted to tell the boy “It’s okay. I will never forget you.” More than anything She wanted to tell them all “Please live, and never forget me.” If only they knew How badly she wanted them to live Because life is precious And she had wasted it Each tear, Another regret, Another memory, That slowly fades into nothing Now she sits, All alone As the world keeps turning In an empty house Full of regret Full of longing Staring out the window Remembering what had once been Her life
  7. ThyArtIsLexi

    Living In Fear

    So uhm... here's something I wrote. It's actually a short story. Constructive criticism/comments appreciated :3 Screaming, always the screaming. She is sitting in the corner of the cold, dark room, the girl who is whole heartedly broken. She cannot cite, nor begin to comprehend when the beginning of the end slipped through the little comfort she thought she had once known. It was all an illusion, a clever hoax. Her thoughts are all consuming, a constant war within her mind where nothing is definite and all the facts are completely unknown. In her small world, everything conflicts. Pale moonlight pools in through the one window in her room, where she had once stared out into the open world, hoping, desiring , despairing. The screaming had drawn closer now, but the girl did not care, for she had known this before. Her faith and strength had too eluded her long ago. She would not cry, she told herself, she would not cry because crying would display her true weakness and flaw. Closing her eyes she prayed to a god she knew did not exist. There was no one that could save her. Had she only the strength to save herself, had she only that strength then perhaps she would fight. But here in this lifeless room, desolation prevailed. Shivering, the girl removes herself from her corner. But as her frail feet stumble across the floor, a door opens. A voice, feminine, breaks through the girl's only false sanctuary. "Don't you know what time it is, bitch?" The voice questions drunkenly. The girl does not turn around, nor does she answer. Words are meaningless here in this world, her words could not save her. Fear hovers at the edge of her mind , though the girl cannot identify why. The voice belongs to a human, just like any other, no more, no less. Still, she is frightened. Involuntary, the girl trembles. The voice laughs but fades away. The voice is not real, her thoughts are betraying her once more. Her thoughts seemed real sometimes, and the wounds they inflicted at times seemed just as so. Doors in her mind keep opening and closing. The truth, could she ever understand the truth? Could she even fathom the absolute truth? Memories lie, people lie; she lives in a world of lies. Everyday, she listens, watches and waits patiently for something, anything, to make sense in her clouded head. Nobody around her can see how she sits trapped inside her own head. Then again, no one ever cared to truly acknowledge her pathetic existence. In her head, she knew that loneliness was the beginning of her demise, though her heart spoke that her downfall was brought on by consistent betrayal that polluted her life and her very being. The girl does not want to remember, but she can never forget. Her life of lies was her fault, because she could not open her eyes to accept reality. Despair fills her insides, sharp pain courses through her heart and stomach like a stab wound. She must not cry. But she can recall the feeling of the cold steel piercing through her heart. This is one of the girl's many thoughts that she obsesses over. No one could understand her severe lack of trust, but her past was still her present. Her demons clung to her, they wrapped their claws around her neck, drawing the air out of her lungs and tried to sink her into the earth.This was yet another struggle unseen by the normal eye. The memories still burned fiercely in her mind. People have always told the girl to cheer up and live life, but they cannot see her the way she truly is, behind the black curtains that veil her existence. Desolation is inescapable, because no matter who the girl has around her, the veil separates her existence from the other's. The girl rubs her weary eyes; she has not slept in days. All she wants to do is sleep, but the nightmares and thoughts ravage her mind and she cannot escape. The house has grown silent now, all battles put to rest, except the girl's own. She retreats to her bed, where there is still no warmth to be found. Staring up at the thick darkness, her thoughts continue to rage and cloud any coherent thoughts. The next day, in mere hours, the girl would attend school, where the broken dreams and the faceless nothings dwelled. She would drift through the crowded but empty hallways as the students who existed but did not exist at all laughed merrily with their friends. A world of lies. She would try to look upon their faces and understand, but they always appeared featureless in her unforgiving eyes. They would bump into her and hardly pay her any mind, but that would always be what the girl preferred. The girl yawns. In that prison, she would be told to sit and care about information useless to her lifeless existence. In that prison, her existence would be wasted, every ounce of her potential ebbed away as she conforms to everyday life. The girl's eyes start to slowly close. She doesn't want to close her eyes, but she must, she wants to see. Things have always been like this maybe tomorrow, though, things will be different. An alarm clock sounds off from across the room, reading four-o'clock a.m. Cursing, the girl forces herself out of bed. Another morning, another struggle. - Three hours and fifteen minutes later- The girl is in class now, staring blankly at the teacher lecturing at the front of the room. She is in the back, now drawing and day dreaming. The girl does not worry that anyone will see what she scribbles on her paper, because all the desks around her are empty. The whole classroom is completely empty, but she can still hear the teacher's voice continuing to spew unimportant facts to the students that cannot exist. None of it matters because his existence is separate from her own. Eventually, the bell rings and the girl moves on to her next prison cell. They're all like puppets to her, moving as if mechanical even. She gazes at each of her teachers with likewise blank expressions. Today would be no different than any other day.
  8. galexyhorizon

    Hi

    Need someone to talk to . Feeling really down .
  9. Nausicäa

    Sad fairy drawing

    My drawing of a fairy. Please let me know what you guys think about it. Maybe help me give her a title?
  10. xx.jealouspain.xx

    I can't let go </3

    The closer I get the further he moves or teases and blindly becomes buddy buddy with all my hat3rs :,,,((( I love him. I am quiet. He's dorky. Same extra circulars v____v I see him everyday and on weekend(wtf) e_____e I just wanna touch hime Our unmutual feelings, but who's to blame? My incompetence is caused by... me (?) I am lost, but I've never been gone, I want to curl up and cry. My eyes are puffy and the heart mummers are more off kilter than normal. Whom should I hate more: him, myself,.. or his homecoming date(b!!!tchwitch). Cuz I cannot love when it's been invested into a dream, and I don't sleep much anymore, anyways... Any1 else?
  11. A_MURDER_OF_CROWS

    Rainbow Tears

    From the album: Random~

    © Kennedy Chaotic

  12. Poet_For_Life

    Last time hair brown

  13. TransFabulous

    Exchange

    You're not coming home, And I'm trapped here Torn between life and death, I stay because you left me Dangling from that rope, I can't go down there anymore. I don't even feel alive, Of course you don't either. Swimming in the claret water, It's the only way to stay alive. The razor's edge is my paddle, Living on borrowed time. I'm still here because you left me, Why couldn't it be me instead?
  14. haiimaRAWRR

    Is there a point?

    Is there even a point to living anymore..okay don't answer that yes, I know everything happens for a reason; all that bull crap but every thing seems so irrelevant to me at this moment. I go to school, go through all my classes, no work, sometimes a test, learn things that have already been taught, walk the halls as though I'm a ghost and when the school day is over pretend to be happy just to go home and cry. I never feel good enough and sometimes feel like a plague on the lives of others and sometimes I just wonder what is even the point of trying anymore...
  15. chaotic kittycat

    How many of you guys feel lonley and sad?

    How many of you guys feel sad, tired, and lonley
  16. Rockerchick22

    Feelings

    So sick of these feelings, They don't feel right, Wanting someone to understand, To see the black that is inside me, I can't be what i want to be, So look into my eyes, i'll show you the world of pain, Because to me, Nothing every is ok, I Feel happy, but than its just nothing, Like a river my emotions flow, Till it cracks, and away they go, But my river isn't what it seems, Its blood from all my feelings bleeding, So understand something that no one can, A heart golden, Soon turns black, Crick crack, there they go, Watch them as they flow.
  17. 0BeautifulDisaster0

    Am I that undesirable?

    I had this guy who I really really cared for, I might have even actually fallen for...but today I found out...he was a "master" of another girl...that in itself hurt me...then i found out he told her he loved her...in the same exact way he told me...I understand I was being played...but I don't fully understand why...I didn't think I was that undesirable until now, I didn't think that he would be the person to do that to me, I must be a bad judge of character, but honestly, now that its happened, I feel like nobody is ever going to want me, or want me for me, for the playful colorful person I am, and I feel useless, unwanted, undesirable, I feel like i'm only ever going to be good for being used or played.
  18. chaotic kittycat

    Untitled

    The freak is alone with no on to care she walks in the dark while others stare she is terrified, crying, and tired of being alone but everyone judges her So she walks by herself to her land of pain wondering what the point of her exsistence is Covered in a veil of shimmering black she stares at the moon through her bathroom window She looks in the mirror at her pale face Thick black hair and gleaming blue eye's staring at herself wonders if she'll ever be loved a single tear falls and hits the sink She runs out the door in tears to be alone again wishing someone would hold her and hear her cries....
  19. its-tristyn

    Sad, Always

    I'm sad, always, Why, I don't know, Everyone hates my ways. Though I try not to let it show, I'm sad, always, Inside and Out. While people say it's just a phase, People wonder why, When I try not to cry. It's because I'm sad, always.
  20. its-tristyn

    I'm Really Good at Pretending

    I'm really good at pretending, you see. You really don't know me. On the outside I'm full of cheer, Inside I'm full of self doubt, and fear. Outside, I act happy and cool, But to be honest, you're a fool. I laugh and smile, Even though it takes me awhile. On the outside I'm fine. Inside I'm crying. I'm really good at pretending, you see. You really don't know me.
  21. EmoXJoshieXX

    Fine...

    Fine... (Verse1) [i don't know what it means to win. I don't know what it means to win. I'm shallow broken (shallow broken) I'm shallow broken (shallow broken)]x2 (gtr) Can you, feel my heartbeat? Up against your chest while I beg you with my best. I don't, want this to be, something more or less I'd rather stand trial than sit down for a test. [i can't tell you my world]x4 (Chorus) Well it's on and it's off, this goes on and on and on, well it's up and it's down. Can you please just turn around? Face the wall...can you tell me what you see? (verse2) stop trying to waste time when I've only got one life. I'll make the best that ever is I'll hold on onto the bridge. Get me up get me down I'm so tired of these clouds. Shaped like hearts, one by one. Rip apart, every one. Don't know wether to stay clear, or stay in your arms dear. (chorus) (verse3) I see an empty shadow, thick and battered. Torn apart and cast aside. I'm staring in that mirror and God I fear that's me inside that wall. I hope that all is well for you i spelt. My dying bloody heart. Don't know when to stop, when to drop, let it all fall. I can't give you what you want cus you feel so...far... (chorus) Can you tell me that you feel fine...?....Can you, feel my heartbeat? Up against your chest while I beg you with my best...
  22. ~justloveme~

    Hello there c:

    From the album: MESELF O.O

    So here's the story with this pic, I got all dressed..showered and nice and clean to hang out with my friends, braided my hair and everything and then after a huge hassel....WE DID NOT EVEN HANG OUT D:
  23. xxNeverBrokenxx

    (Untitled)

    Tears roll down her cheeks Planning an escape This promise she can not keep To spare the ones she hates Time rolls past Without a clue Knowing this breath would be their last They strangled, while she watched their faces turn blue Run away little one Your desires came true Now it's time to run Until the guilt catches you
  24. I listen to A LOT of music. And whenever I here any song that's about any type of relationship, I sometimes get sad. These are some songs that make me think like that: Grenade -Bruno Mars It Will Rain -Bruno Mars Wish You Were Here -Avril Lavigne Jar Of Hearts -Christina Perri Distance -Christina Perri A Thousand Years -Christina Perri Better In Time -Leona Lewis The One That Got Away -Katy Perry Whataya Want From Me -Adam Lambert Someone Like You -Adele Until It Beats No More -Jennifer Lopez (What Is) Love? -Jennifer Lopez I'm Into You -Jennifer Lopez feat. Lil Wayne The Only Exception -Paramore Please Don't Go -Mike Posner Please Don't Leave Me -Pink Say Goodbye -Chris Brown Bittersweet -Fantasia Barrino Skyscraper -Demi Lovato Whatcha Say -Jason Derulo Battlefield -Jordin Sparks No Air -Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown Already Gone -Kelly Clarkson Goodbye -Kristinia DeBarge When I'm Alone -Lissie According To You -Orianthi Somebody To Love -Glee Version I Hate This Part -Pussycat Dolls Forever And Always: Piano Version -Taylor Swift Breathe -Taylor Swift You're Not Sorry -Taylor Swift Back To December -Taylor Swift The Story Of Us -Taylor Swift White Horse -Taylor Swift Teardrops On My Guitar -Taylor Swift Tim McGraw -Taylor Swift What's yours?
  25. Youngblood

    Are you ok?

    Yeah, I'm tired. (T)orn apart (I)nsecure, (R)eally faking my smile, (E)xtremely sad, (D)rowning in my tears.
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