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Just me thinking deep

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As I sit here, staring into the darkness. Not the darkness caused by the sun hiding itself on the other half of the earth. No, i'm staring into the darkness that is life itself. The life that has tried so hard to bring me down, drove me to the brink of insanity. The life that has given me so many nice things, only to pry them from my cold bloody hands. The life that has tormented me endlessly. The life that has shoved my face into the teachings of multiple false gods, turning my mind to the evil of satanism, becoming a disappointment to christian family. The life that forces me to watch the fear filled eyes on the faces of all I hold close as I slit my wrists, using the sweet tasting blood to draw pentagrams and "infinity crosses" on my walls, only to wake up with no memory of the previous actions. The life that leaves me broken, bleeding in my corner, pleading for the voices to go away, for the hooded figures to stop screaming at me. To be a normal person. Not plagued with the troubles of psychosis. The severe depression. As I sit here in this darkness. I wonder what the purpose is. What is life's reason for putting me through this. Why does it leave me with this loneliness. Damned to roam the world with no friends to help me. I wonder why I still fight on no matter how hopeless things look, after all, i was only born to die anyway.

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