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Guest ClustraFuck

Important! : How to stop cutting yourself.

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     I don't know about this... cutting has always been an outlet for me. It's probably the primary reason I haven't killed myself. Talking makes it worse, people say the wrong thing and it worsens my mood severely. Solitude gives me clarity, but I guess people are typically more social than me xD

     Hotlines are kind of a joke, not even the texting ones (which I feel ease the pressure of talking about personal matters) really help. One one hand, they provide a stranger who can't make matters worse in your own social life even if they wanted to (unless the conversation gets so serious they send a response team, which regardless of you not wanting it, could save a life), on the other hand they don't give any real advice. I feel like that is something that is sort of critical, because why would you want to talk to someone you have to see everyday in real life about things that could make them stare at you with pity, or deal with you like you're a fragile object? The point of these hotlines, for me, is so that you don't have to be treated differently by those around you. So you can get help in a time of need, without uprooting your daily routine and everything becoming worse.

     The point about seeing the crisis clinician (here we have a "therapist of the day" who sees walk ins that need help) is a good one. Unfortunately last time I did that I got sent to a hospital, and all they do there is ask you how you're feeling and if you're still less than 'normal' they increase your drug intake so much you just feel like a zombie. A zombie with no problems solved, surrounded by more zombies with no problems solved.

     Anything has the potential to harm. A cutter in need turns into a more creative engineer than stoners with no pipe and a gallon bag full of weed.

     Look, I really appreciate your attempt to help people, and I am sure it has helped a few, but for every thing some of us do to postpone the cutting, it only builds the urge. Nothing is as satisfying. Nothing lets out the pain as much. 
    It's just... a personal choice. My only advice is that if you do cut, don't do it out of rash emotion. That's when dangerous mistakes get made. Cutting to cope and cutting to kill are two totally different things, and regardless of how socially unacceptable it is I will continue to use it to cope. It isn't "weakness" and a few of the comments I read are honestly disgusting, misinformed replies that have probably triggered other readers, and I'm sure there are cutters in their lives who's mental state has degenerated because of being called 'selfish', 'weak', or 'attention seeking'. No fucking wonder they cut, dicks >.>

 

 

tl;dr I appreciate your attempt to reach out, and I am sure it has helped some people, but it is all advice cutters have been told before. Clearly if they solved the issue it wouldn't be an issue, and for some of us it isn't really an issue in the first place- it is a coping mechanism and a better alternative to suicide. Fuck all the assholes feeding the problem with namecalling, stereotypes, and prejudice. GOML.

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Cutting, is dumb, it will limit your later life, trust me, the scars can lead to all the nasty questions you've never though of.

 

The thing is, even if you're being bullied, abused, raped etc on a daily basis, so long as the emotions don't kill you, and the physical damage isn't too bad, it, and this is so crass, it really will improve. It gets better, you get stronger, you start fighting back.

 

School right up until I left 4 years ago, was hell,I was trans, gay, closeted, and I had a posh accent, and I was a prick.

 

Sure,cutting can keep you alive, it can be the only thing that makes you feel better, but eventually, you need so much of the dopamine your wounds cause to feel better, you'll bleed out.

 

Seriously, take up drugs, theyre less harmful.

 

 

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Take up drugs, because they're less harmful? Are you a troll or have you not seen what drugs do? They'll kill you a hell of a lot faster and get you into way more shady, life threatening situations. If you're unfortunate enough to live through those situations, you'll start cutting all over again or just OD to off yourself.

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Guys. I know it's pretty hard out there. when I was in high school things were looking pretty bad for me. I was being bullied, my family was torn apart, and a manner of other things that to this day still don't want to talk about. I used to cut and other forms of self harm. I tried to end my life on more than one occasion. I never really sought after the help I so needed back then. It just took one person to reach out to me, to truly reach out. Someone I didn't even know.

 

I just want to tell you I am 23 now. I have a 1 year old son and he is my entire life. If I ended my life back then he wouldn't exist. Think about that for a minite, please. I have a happy beautiful son. I love him more than I could ever love anything. And he almost didn't exist because I didn't believe it could get better. And it does! Yeah sometimes shit can suck. Sometimes it can suck really bad and you feel like nothing will change. Hell, I still get really anxious sometimes and fuck yeah I still get depressed sometimes, some hurts never truly go away. But that doesn't mean your life won't get better. If I could go back now, I would stop being a fucking idiot, finish high school, and avoid any if all mistakes I could. But I can't do that, and quite frankly I wouldn't want to. Some of the things that happened to me made me who I am today. Meeting that shitty fucking dude, awesome! Now I have a baby that I love and a partner who loves us both more than that dickhead ever could have.

 

Look I know this is starting to get long but my advice to you is this;

 

Finish school :) you might hate it now but I haven't met a person who didn't graduate and doesn't regret it now.

 

Use art and music to help you work through your problems.and branch out a bit! Some of the music I listened to a few years back was fucking terrible! No wonder I was so depressed! And don't forget,

The earth without art is just 'eh'

 

If you're lesbian, gay, bi, straight, trans or whatever, don't let what others think about you define who you are as a human being.

 

We are all looking for the "one", but don't forget, they are looking for you too :) just relax and enjoy your youth. I knew my "one" for 11 years til we both finally realized :)

 

Don't be an asshole. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your family. Be kind to nature. You are the universe.

 

And finally, learn! Learn as much as you can! The world is a fascinating place. You can be whatever you want. Explore the oceans, write a novel, invent something

 

If you feel like you ever need to talk to someone, do it. Even if it just to tell them you had a good day :)

 

I hope this has been helpful, and please comment on this if it has :D

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The addiction is due to the endorphins released from feeling the physical pain.

I've been doing it on and off since I was 11, I've tried to stop many times but what works for me is to keep busy and distracted, and the exercising thing, painful as it is to say haha, really is a good one

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viriconium- about your kid, my nephew is actually helping me a lot. He reminds me of the magic that world used to have, and that there are reasons to keep breathing.

My nephew, I look at him like the son I'll never have and that motivates me to 'better' myself because I never want him to see the pain this world can cause

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