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Hot pot dating is not for you.

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Being the resident middle aged member, the adult, the most experienced person at just clicks away. i'm no stranger to getting inboxes cause the wee teenie boopers want insight on dating and relationships from "that B that be around the B  for the D."  (idk... this could be some kind of flattery remark and yet we are already divided by a strange language barrier. ) 

That does actually make me feel like a mixed bag of flattered but put off at the curiosity surrounding my sex life from back in the days of old...(it wasn't that long ago you guys!)  On one hand i shouldn't mind teaching people what to watch out for and consider carefully when dating and sex, and then on the other hand, i'm 31 years old. We have nothing in common currently. but i get it, it's not something you can talk about with kids your own age. it's new and it's weird and there's a stigma, an adult like me has been there. a mature individual isn't going to slut shame you or whatever i don't hang people's business out to dry like that. People know this because i'm was publicly open about speed dating, hot pot dating, no strings attached dating... i'm engaged now, People's past don't define them, I've always known that, i wasn't afraid. i took precautions, drove sober, asked questions first and didn't get between any exclusive couples.

Sure i could talk about the former early to late 20's version of myself and maybe it could give a boarder perspective on the options you have or whats better for you emotionally or personally but would i recommend you take up hot pot dating? No. i don't honestly think it's right for people of particular subcultures, ideologies and temperaments, social disorders, potential depression tendencies. i'm not knocking down social or mental instabilities as if i don't have them myself.  I have some but i have them without acting like people owe me anything for having them see i lived a very decent capable life with no signs of them and that's already a great distinction between me and you. See you lot are a depressed or emotional nihilist and in my personal case i'm just a statistic.

i appreciate the whole support of me "going against the social norms and rising up against the face of adversity" but i don't think it's cute that your trying to follow me like an idol, i don't think it's endearing to call this being open minded towards my choice of sexual prowess, stop making it sound like a revolution or a feminist agenda cause it isn't. It's NOTHING like that and if it sounded extremist and otherworldly. that is not my intent. it's not a skill, it's not a talent. it's a personal mindset, it's an alternative for the right people and i don't think that's for any of you.  Not even if it was an age thing. we could have been the same age and we still wouldn't have the same mentality. 

 

The reason I was hot pot dating around was because..

I DID NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP. 

A RELATIONSHIP JUST FOR THE TITLE OR TO SCRATCH OUT AN IDENTITY ISN'T THAT SPECIAL.

I WAS  ALWAYS WORKING TWO JOBS AND ATTENDING UNIVERSITY

I WAS NOT A PERSON TO GET ATTACHED BECAUSE I'M STOIC. 

I DIDN'T WANT TO BE A HOUSEWIFE BABY FACTORY

STATISTICALLY PEOPLE IN GENUINE EARLY RELATIONSHIPS RUIN EACH OTHERS LIVES

WHEN I HAD BAGGAGE I ALWAYS FIXED MYSELF OUTSIDE OF RELATIONSHIPS 

I  WAS YOUNG. I HAVE ONE LIFE. WHY WASTE THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE ON SOMEONE I WAS DOOMED TO BREAK UP WITH ANYWAYS? 

IT WOULD NAUSEATE ME TO SETTLE DOWN SO EARLY AND DROP MY FUTURE CAREER DOWN THE SHIT HOLE

FOREVER ALONE IS NOT MY SLOGAN JUST BECAUSE I WAS SINGLE AT 19

IT'S COMFORTABLE AND THERE'S NOT A LOT OF PRESSURE TO BE A SPECIFIC STANDARD

MEN ARE GENERALLY A LOT NICER TO ME BECAUSE I LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE AFTER I SLEEP WITH THEM WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING FROM THEM

I HELD VERY FAIR STANDARDS YET ODDLY THEY SEEMED LIKE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS THAT COULDN'T BE MET BY MOST 20- 25 YEAR OLDS 

I DIDN'T WANT TO HIT IT OFF IN THE LONG TERM IF I WOULD BE EXPECTED TO CONVERT 

I ALWAYS GUARANTEED TO PROTECT THE SEXUAL HEALTH OF THOSE INVOLVED WITH ME. STRANGERS OR OTHER WISE.  MOST GIRLS CAN'T EVEN DO THAT WITH THEIR LONG TERM "TRUE LOVE."

I DON'T CARE IF MY HOT POTS SEE OTHER PEOPLE  

I WASN'T TRYING TO HAVE A BABY TO USE AS A MEAL TICKET OR TRAP A MAN IN AN ENGAGEMENT

I DON'T CARE IF SOME PEOPLE CALLED IT MORALLY CORRUPT

I PERTAINED A MINDSET THAT TOLD ME MY SOULMATE WAS SOMEONE WHO WANTED ME AFTER I WAS NOT IN MY PRIME ANYMORE. 

(You know how younger people are naive and think you're true love is a 16 year old crush or some retarded shit like that? i was the extreme opposite. in my mind my soulmate is a grown mature 40 year old tired of chasing pretty dumb bimbos and ready for the mature woman incarnation of myself. i just have a better appreciation for people that had all their fun before hand and got serious when the time really called for it. while it was easy to be attractive in my youth i knew nobody was worthy of me if they don't contemplate who i am as an aged woman. )

So... that is why i don't recommend hot pot dating to you. I know you'll say that i did it so you could too. your like a free spirit too and blah blah blah... But listen, it's not a hypocrisy thing. it's a... you're EMOTIONAL thing, remember? If you can't even handle constructive criticisms like being told to grow up or being told to chill out with your fandom toxicness you sure aren't ready to be able to brush it off every time people are going to call you a slut and a whore.  You're not strong enough for that, you take everything to heart and seriously. Don't go off destroying yourself over something you want to pursue what's not for people like you. i'm doing you a damn favor. stay out of that. you don't know how to protect yourself and nobody can protect you once you dip your toes. In this world there's a thing called personal fucking responsibility and you have to own it if you're gonna walk that path or nobody is going to respect you. 

YOU ARE NOT STOIC OR PRAGMATIC. You don't have the mindset or the energy or the ability to carry this kind of thing on your back. See i couldn't define myself based on revolving everything around having a boyfriend. With you emotional people, it's like all you think you need for verification is a bf or gf.  hot pot dating almost never results in having the luck of squeezing yourself into a monogamous relationship. that's just more sadness and devastation and poor self esteem on you. don't you got enough of that in your life? Even when it's psychosomatic? 

if you see yourself as not caring in the aftermath or not being affected at all that's on you to stay at the peek of emotional health.  But if you can see yourself being institutionalized cause your nudes got leaked or something and you tried to kill yourself. and you're too stupid and broke to buy condoms and get on birth control, if sex isn't even something you can even talk about maturely then do yourself a favor and STAY AWAY from the aspects of hot pot dating.  Don't do stupid reckless shit trying to look independent and bad ass because that's not how it is. This is NOT about going against the norm and not conforming, it doesn't have shit to do with that. Some people just want to find amazing sex encounters just because... don't over simplify it and ruin it and ruin yourself in the process. 

 

 

 

 

 

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