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Showing results for tags 'struggle'.
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I stare blankly into the dead of the night, wondering if anyone could have possibly ever experienced the pain i feel coursing through my veins this night. I think to myself "You have him for yourself. isn't that enough? Need you really worry" But I know I will never stop worrying. Could he ever fall for someone else? Could I? What is he thinking now? It hurts like a hot blade to my heart. Searing, rushing, suffocating pain. I bite my lip and choke an upcoming sob. He kissed me. I was his first kiss, among so many other milestones in his life. I was there through it all. What am I honestly worrying about? The past. It has to be. But no one is like him. I have never seen someone in the way I see him. He is a hero to me. A stronghold. A lover. A best friend. Everything. Does he even know that. I wish I could show him... but i don't want to scare him away. Not when we've come so far from those first hours of our first meeting after 5 years of being apart. I could tell how much we'd both changed since that day. For the better, of course. I walk around the room to try to catch my breath. My eyes feel the after-tinge of tears and are heavy with sleep. I look out the window at the moon once more and wonder if angels really do dance upon it. If that's where she is right now. And I tell her to watch over him tonight, send him my embrace and for a second I swear I feel her there with me. But then the cold of the Winter night returns and I climb into my bed. I speak quietly to myself, " Till morning comes, I am without him. But I will live. And a new day will come. And it will be alright" and I drift to sleep, my bleeding heart at rest.