This one is for my girl

[anna123emo]

Why is it that

When I feel my best..

I also feel my worst?

I could be laughing, smiling, happy...

But then there's the little pang of hurt in the back of my head tht makes me want to hurt myself

Badly.

I could be with the girl tht I have the biggest crush on...

And I would still want to hurt myself

I could be holding her, kissing her, laughing with her...

But there's always tht feeling...

I could be hanging out with my friends...

At the mall or the ice skating rink...

Having a really good time...

But then I think 'I could cut myself when I go home, the razor is still under my bed...' And I go home and I do it...

But I always feel horrible afterwards.

Like I betrayed the girl of my dreams

Let down my friends

And disappointed my family yet again

I just can't understand it

I tell therapists and doctors

But they say its just a phase.

To give it time.

I have been for almost 4 years now...

I just don't want to put the people tht I love through this anymore...

They deserve better.

And I want to give them tht...

But everyday I get defeated again and again.

But today was different

I haven't cut for 3 days

It's a start...

And I'm doing it for my girl... Montanna Raine <3 baby this ones for you...

[hi-c]

i think she'll like it