past threats

[BipolarBear]

the shadows rise and once again tourment me
the pains in my chest no longer leave me be
growing in weakness i cannot hold
the pains that are growing, but were fortold
memories replay
in the deadliest of ways
the past creeps around
untill i fall down
then it pounces ontop of me like a lion and a gazelle
 creating and sealing.. my personal hell

[DerdriueBurden]

I'll protect you

[punk301]

There was no flow whatsoever. You had spelling and grammar mistakes. 

[❧Ắṅṅα Aṃṇεṡiα☢]

^ unless you are a professional poem writer like Edgar Allan Poe, i wouldn't be judging other people's work. There was a flow, and grammar/spelling mistakes? i mean really? everyone makes those once in a while... 

Edited May 11, 2013 by Rawr c:

[punk301]

First off, I am published Author. Secondly I'm not judging his work. It's critiquing his work so that he will take it under advisement and produce perfectly crafted poetry. I may come off as cold but I'm being honest and fair. He deserves that much. Thirdly, if you allow spelling and grammar mistakes in a published draft (because that's what posting poetry online is called) you tell the whole world; that your both an amateur and a lazy writer. Yes everyone makes mistakes, but that's what proof reading and editing is for. Lastly, there was no flow. If you have to stop reading in the middle of the poem, to try and figure out what it is the writer is trying to say it destroys the rhythm. Harsh? yes. it would be an insult to him if I lied to him.

[Rawr I love you]

I liked this and if anyone had to stop to think about what he was saying hey their brains get a little workout but I didn't have any trouble understanding this

[hi-c]

awesome