Nick Garcia Posted May 10, 2013 Share Posted May 10, 2013 (edited) When The End Is Getting Closer, And The Earth Has Burned The Sky, Now Repent Cause It's All Over, Just Let Me Die. As My Body Lies Here Broken, And I'm Carried To The Light, Now My Heart Is Finally Open, Just Let Me Die. Edited May 10, 2013 by Nick Garcia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
punk301 Posted May 11, 2013 Share Posted May 11, 2013 I see your trying to establish meaning by constantly repeating "Just let me die". Further more you avoided one mistake just to repeat others. Congrats on avoiding useless rhyming, but your word choice is to be much appreciated. Furthermore earth burning the sky leaves much confusion, and should be clarified a bit. I see this as more of a haiku your syllable counting was spot on, and format was correct. However if this was just a free word poem than your format was completely off. I'll give you the benifit of the doubt and say it was a haiku. Keep writing and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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