Forevermore, would this make a good song and titile?

[Adam5]

look up into the clear sky
The tears run like liquid crystals down my face
Because of this the angels cry
Because I have this life to waste

The frost and snowflakes bites me
The beauty of their faces clear
The loveliness is just to spite me
And they run down, they turn to ice; my tears

I see red all around me
What is this, what is sounding?
Why does the blood run down from my eyes?
Is that why I did? Did I cry?

Through the window I see
I see your face, full of longing,
Fingers reaching out like a tree
But we can never reach

What is that I see in the mirror?
Is that I? In the reflection?
Why do I look like I am dead?
Because I am being cut apart, section by section…

Is this the time, or is it too late?
Should I choose to stay or choose to jump?
For living in a world with all this hate
Can make a person want to die

I have feelings too, you know
I may always talk in monotone
But look more closely, for it is a mask
The only reason that I do not tell…is not one cares enough to ask

The fire in my heart,
It has long gone out
The twists, the blood, the veins, they are like art
Every heartbeat is just a-shout, a-shout, a-shout

I reach in the dark
I long for some light,
For what is the point of being,
If you have to live in fright?

She would feel the ice creeping, growing in her chest
And soon, she knew, she would ever rest
But there was one last thing she had to do
She had to say goodbye, I love you too

And then, the angels said,
The poor girl perished into the land of dead
For all of it she could take no more
And there she shall wait, forevermore
 

 

 

hey guys i was wondering if this was a good song

 

was hopeing to make into a acoustic version and mabe a scramo version too

 

pleas choose on wich one would sound better?

 

 

[WasteOfMind]

As someone who meddles in recording and writing music, I'd suggest going for the acoustic first, so you nail down your chord progression and have a basic musical idea of what youre trying to do. 

[Hanako 花子]

Know the tone that you're to set.  Also, adjust if the syllables when necessary.

 

Also, "Forevermore" doesn't seen like a fit title for this.  Js.

[Cia ????]

Nope, not a fan.