Nevar Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 I can't take this. This feeling of being alone, of never being good enough, of being so depressed. What happened? I used to be happy, I used to be normal. But that's all changed. Maybe it's from having no one.. Maybe it's from the life I lived.. Or maybe it's from all the horrible things people have said to me. I'm getting tired. Tired of everything. I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of being lonely, I'm tired of feeling worthless, tired of being made fun of, tired of people walking out, tired of pretending, tired of keeping it all bottled up, I'm tired I being tired. And I'm tired I breathing. I don't want to be here. I just want it all to go away. It gets better. It's just a phase. Just be happy. You'll be fine. Everything will work out they say. It doesn't get better. I'll laugh in the face of anyone who tells me otherwise. You can not tell me it will "get better" I've been like this for EIGHT FUCKING YEARS!! I've been contemplating suicide for a while now. It's crossed my mind a million times before, I've just been too much of a coward to do it. But one day I'll get the guts. Because I'm not going to make it out of this war alive. I'm loosing my mind. I feel things that aren't there and the voices in my head are killing me. I'm just done. I don't care anymore. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I've tried so hard. I've tried to make it. I don't want to die but I can't live. I don't know when It's gonna happen, but it will. Eventually. And then, I'll finally be free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilActivity Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 You might lose your mind but you won't be wrong for it. We haven't come very far and no it won't simply get better. You have been on the same chapter for 8 years, that's a long time to be dragging your feet. It's not hard to pick up a phone and place yourself in an institution so you can get taken care of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WasteOfMind Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 You decide who you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xXlostinmyworldXx Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 You might lose your mind but you won't be wrong for it. We haven't come very far and no it won't simply get better. You have been on the same chapter for 8 years, that's a long time to be dragging your feet. It's not hard to pick up a phone and place yourself in an institution so you can get taken care of. I totally agree with the above post. Get some help. You've proven you can't do it alone for far too long. It's not weak or wrong to ask for help. Pick up a phone and call. Why suffer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilActivity Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Nothing.... ? Perhaps we are too late and this child has already offed herself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crankor Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 need a drinking buddy... kidding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevar Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 You might lose your mind but you won't be wrong for it. We haven't come very far and no it won't simply get better. You have been on the same chapter for 8 years, that's a long time to be dragging your feet. It's not hard to pick up a phone and place yourself in an institution so you can get taken care of. I totally agree with the above post. Get some help. You've proven you can't do it alone for far too long. It's not weak or wrong to ask for help. Pick up a phone and call. Why suffer? I have tried getting help. I've been on medications, I've tried talking to my parents, I've been to therapy. None has helped. Maybe I'll try going to an institution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevar Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 need a drinking buddy... kidding Damn, that sounds good right about now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevar Posted February 4, 2014 Author Share Posted February 4, 2014 Nothing.... ? Perhaps we are too late and this child has already offed herself? Not just yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilActivity Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Medication, you should realize that's dangerous. It does more bad then good. Makes your chemicals go out of whack. But you can't cut them off cold turkey either now. Its what I tell everyone, the meds will cause your brain to stop creating cortisol, the stress hormone. That's why anxiety becomes a problem to manage on people. The institution can detox you safely over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xXlostinmyworldXx Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 I have tried getting help. I've been on medications, I've tried talking to my parents, I've been to therapy. None has helped. Maybe I'll try going to an institution. If it takes an institution to help you, then that's what you do. This sounds like a serious problem to me, not something parents or a counselor could help much. Go for more serious help. Do whatever it takes. Get thoroughly checked out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeswaitno Posted February 5, 2014 Share Posted February 5, 2014 I was diagnosed with psychosis not too long ago (along with ptsd and borderline personality disorder). I sometimes see people that I have lost... but im medicated and I dont have to deal with that anymore. If youre seeing people or feeling things you know arent real, you really should just go to a Crisis Stabilization Unit. Tell them to change your damn meds, and keep telling them to change them/ lower or up the dosage. It took me threatening a law suit before they decided to put me in a crisis center. I know how therapy works. They just tell you that youre bipolar and put you on anti-depressants. >.< But you need to just be honest with everybody. If you dont get the proper help, youre going to kill yourself. They should do something about it at that point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daniforyou Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 SOMETIME ITS GOOD TO BE ALONE AND DIFFERENT U JUST HAVE TO WORK THINGS OUT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Becoming Cold Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I can't take this. This feeling of being alone, of never being good enough, of being so depressed. What happened? I used to be happy, I used to be normal. But that's all changed. Maybe it's from having no one.. Maybe it's from the life I lived.. Or maybe it's from all the horrible things people have said to me. I'm getting tired. Tired of everything. I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of being lonely, I'm tired of feeling worthless, tired of being made fun of, tired of people walking out, tired of pretending, tired of keeping it all bottled up, I'm tired I being tired. And I'm tired I breathing. I don't want to be here. I just want it all to go away. It gets better. It's just a phase. Just be happy. You'll be fine. Everything will work out they say. It doesn't get better. I'll laugh in the face of anyone who tells me otherwise. You can not tell me it will "get better" I've been like this for EIGHT FUCKING YEARS!! I've been contemplating suicide for a while now. It's crossed my mind a million times before, I've just been too much of a coward to do it. But one day I'll get the guts. Because I'm not going to make it out of this war alive. I'm loosing my mind. I feel things that aren't there and the voices in my head are killing me. I'm just done. I don't care anymore. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I've tried so hard. I've tried to make it. I don't want to die but I can't live. I don't know when It's gonna happen, but it will. Eventually. And then, I'll finally be free. I felt like I was reading my own mind. I feel exactly the same as you do, but I've been this way for almost two years. It all went downhill in the course of a couple of days. I went from nonchalant, feeling kinda good me, to worthless and pathetic me. I guess I was never really happy, since I became very unhappy after seeing who I really was. After that these uncontrollable feelings arose. Sometimes I want to just want to grab a fork and stab the neck of the person who annoys me most. Sometimes I want to do something romantic to someone I like but it is way out of line, and I've been really weird to them recently, and they don't like me that much, and... I don't know. I won't go on about me but the point is I know how you feel, although I don't have the answer or a way to help. I am sorry you feel this way, and I'm sorry to anyone who feels this way, it's exhausting and so much to bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nevar Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 I'm sorry you're going through it as well. I'm here if you need me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe-Noctum Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Dude, I'm 20, I've been in the same boat since I was 8, find a friend, it definately helped me, and by all means get professional help also, maybe in a reverse order, after getting help you might meet someone that has gone through the same things, someone you can relate to and talk to, I've considered suicide, I've gone for a walk and thought about how easy it would be to jump under and 18 wheeler as its passing, and most people don't want to hear this, but look for religion also, the church I go to has helped me in so many ways, god has let me struggle in my life to make me stronger, it's hard for anyone but my friends to hurt me, and you can find a lot of friends that way without fear of persecution, people of god can be very accepting and very kind, do what you need to, but don't kill yourself, chances are this is going to get some negative comments, but God loves you, and if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now