Will You Ever Know?

[Apathy182]

Sitting in the rain, waiting for this storm to pass, I'm running out of time.

The waters up to my neck, and I can't swim

The longer he's away, the more I ache to show my hearts depths, the way it pains me to be so far.

I wait here, months now, alone, cursing the world around me, these scars are adding up.

I'm hanging on his every word, the way he treats me when he's drunk says it all.

He hurts as I do, desperate not to scream, wiping away tears that escape our eyes.

He brought beauty to my life, put the color back in my world, and taught me to hope.

I put my faith in him like a seed, thriving off his internal light.

The dance we shared of awkward silence and laughter neither understands, is a memory I can't afford to loose.

Holding tight to him, as the blade bites me deeper, feeling the rain of misery wash over me every night, every day, it's his Love that carries  me through.

Life can do terrible things, but please, whoevers listening, don't let this be one of them.

I feel his pain as he knows my thoughts.

I am an echo of his need and aching, the loneliness we've known cured only by each other.

The way I ache to feel how perfectly we fit in each others embrace, to be lost in his eyes instead of our first date.

My daily strife not to tare away from my 'life' and responsibilities here, to run off with my teddy bear and clothes with all the chains, to run back into his arms.

If we spoke of how often we cry over this distance, how this hope can seem childish, though it's absolutely liberating.

He taught me that absolutes must be made, that's hearts can be fixed and life is worth living.

Now he's miles from me, and it's torment.

This need to be by his side, holding him strong, but all I can do is console through a lifeless screen and pray to a god who's turned his back years ago that what he keeps quiet isn't to turn to a toxin, dissolving the wondrous man I've fallen so madly for,

The pain I bear can't hold me down, these scars will never kill me and this despair shall never win me over,

For now I know him.

My reason to wake each morning, to fight, to hope, laugh, sing too loudly, to dance and to feel.

He taught me that I'm still breathing.

Every day his Love saves my life, it's a vicious cycle of hoping too strongly and falling into that flame, rising as a phoenix, burning out in the afternoon, rebuilding my dreams, the one where I'm in your arms, still lost in your eyes, and holding on to the feeling you give me.

He's my shot of whiskey

It burns and gives me courage, showing me I'm worth the life I was given, that just because I was a born of a mistake, doesn't mean I am one.

When I first saw you, my heart stopped and in a blink, I awoke a new person, the one I always wanted to be.

When I first saw you, I couldn't believe the beauty that radiates from you, the way you carry yourself like you don't know.

If I didn't Love you before that date, I'd have fallen hard and fast at the sight of such perfection.

My heart sang a new tune, my demons jaws dropped in awe, and I couldn't breath.

Staring into your eyes, I realized that I'm just the part of you that you've been missing,

That you are my destiny, anywhere you are is where my home is.

I live for you, and I'd die for you, shed my tears for you, give my final breath for you.

All that I have to give is yours.

Meeting you was like the sun coming out after a terrible storm.

Finding you was like our souls dancing in the mirror, an exact reflection.

Though the rain is pouring, you keep me strong.

For now that I know you, I know everything's going to turn out ok.