When I'm with my nephew

[Apathy182]

All I see when I look at you is the pain I've endured, that hope you'll never grow to know.

You're  child I didn't make, and all we share is our eye color.

You're still full of potential and the world is still open to you.

You fill me with a sad hope that you'll live a brighter life, and that the light behind your eyes never fades.

Gunther you'll never see this, you'll never know how I envy your mother, for I can bare you a cousin to play with, and that when I go, I pray you'll never be alone,

When I hold you in my arms, consoling your fears and pains of a nightmare you don't understand, I feel a spark of you childhood dreams and magic, the thing that makes this world amazing instead of the Deadmans wonderland it is.

Looking into your eyes, seeing your smile when I enter a room, I want to cry because I'll never see you enough, and You'll never be able to learn from my mistakes.

This feeling that I should be with you always to help and guide you through your every possible misstep, to show you the wonder reflected in your eyes.

I hope you'll never loose that spark, that chases off the darkness in every humans soul.

Your eyes are the cure to a plague in this world no ones noticed, the one hollowing people turning them into little puppets for the media, stripping them of all that makes them individuals.

I know I'll see you here and there as you get older and stumble on your own, and that I can't patch up ever bump scrape and cut you'll get, but I want to. I want to be the one you think of when you remembers words that carry you through your darkest days, and words that remind you that you're stronger than you know.

The hope and faith I have in you doesn't mix well with the toxin of my soulless vessel, the illness that curses me to forever be alone.

But if I never met you Gunther, I'd never be able stand and fight for the light in my life, the one source of my happiness.

It hurts to fight for your destiny, the one no one else believes in, but for you I fight, to prove that no matter if you're hope abandons you, and if your life gets hard, that if I can find my happy ending and keep it, that so can you.

That the hard times are what makes the good things in life so great.

But I won't be here to show you these things.

I won't be able to hold your hand at 2 am and remind you how wonderful you are, but I pray to a god who's turned his back on this world ages ago that you'll never fall this low, that you'll never be lonely