I cant do this....

[SuicidalAngelMavi]

I really dont know what to say or where to start. There is so much. And its probably useless here anyway. And before I begin id like to say I dont wanna be told "get some professional help" because im working on that. I have been. But anyway...

 

So for months now iv been pretty much alone. I lost everyone. But that story is not important. I do have a boyfriend. And that is legitly the only person. I lost who I thought was my bestie and grew very attached to. Not lost in a bad way...but I guess he was a fake and got deleted. (Lovely) I need at least one person there for me besides my bf... thats okay with me freaking out and ranting ...instead of keeping it in and getting more and more depressed. But im doubting thatll happen.

 

Anyway along with having no one... i have no suitable living area. I get the floor of someones living room. No privacy whatsoever. No comfort. Anything, so no friends no house. I feel useless. I cant do anything about it currently iv been working my ass off to get money. And so not having anything has made me very very very beyond depressed.

 

I have had horrible horrible thoughts for a week now...and todays making it come to the point of I know where my razor is and im forcing myself to stay outside or IT will happen. I would be able to be okay and be calm if my boyfriend would just simply hold me. But instead refuses to help because ..well he fails at most simple things..fails at being there when i need him most...and always makes things waywayway worse. But like i said if i was held..id be fine. No talking. Just held. So hes making no sense. But so here I am. Outside. Behind shiz. In the grass hiding. From life. Because im staying away from my razor. And have no one at all. No bestie. Just me. And like i said. The professional is being delt with. But I also need someone in my life so it doesnt get to this point.

 

I dont know what to do. Im scared. Alone. And... I dont know anymore. Im done.

[My-chemical-trinity]

I really hope Made it here before it's too late. But you're not alone. You can message me anytime if that's how it works on here... But just remember you're never really alone. There is so many people that care about you, even if you don't know it.

 

[EvilActivity]

This doesn't make any fucking sense, if you don't have friends it's only because you're not taking any initiative to make friends. You could be on a REAL social media account like twitter or facebook talking with adults and joining different support groups that are active. But you are here in this itty bitty almost non-existent site that appeals to apathetic 13 year olds who don't even under stand the real world themselves.  What are you trying to accomplish with just that? You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip you know. 

[SuicidalAngelMavi]

Uhm I am on facebook constantly and I found a friend, well many here so you can stop kicking me when im down. Social media will crush. An emo site when I am most low will only hurt when people like you are near.

[SuicidalAngelMavi]

I have been on this site for five+ years and even dying its way better then the people on facebook.

[Remix]

..I don't know what your trying to accomplish, or what you are looking for? But I can tell you this..you definitely wont find it here. On a diminished Emo Puddle chat and forum site, where the only people left are realistic adults with relevant and realistic advice. We will not sugar coat it for you, we will not sympathize where logical advice is needed. 

 

You already know you need help and you've said your getting that done. Good job. I praise you for not being so blind as to what is effectively needed. 

 

As for your inner thoughts of suicide I recommend a journal of sorts, because writing them here? Well, I needn't tell you the results of that. Have a good evening.

[HereToHelp]

Use rope

[SuicidalAngelMavi]

I accomplished exactly what I wanted thanks you idiots. I got what i wanted so shhhhh