Jesus is Human (Don't be fooled-it's nonreligious)

[Brandi27]

Curled onto my side,

not asleep but dreaming--

always dreaming . . .

It was cozy under that blanket--

the warmth cut into my lungs,

a thousand scalpels

scraping at my

spider-web ribs.

I wanted the cold,

the chill,

the sensation I got

when your skin grazed mine.

 

The corpse set the world aflame.

 

You were always too far away,

I thought,

but I realize now that

you were climbing down my throat,

making a quick race to my gut

to stir up butterflies

and bile.

 

The infection was the cure.

 

Was it love, the desperation I felt

on those dark autumn days?

Or was it something more

like imprisonment,

chains and shackles?

I remember heart-shaped handcuffs,

hanging close to collarbones,

wrapped around pulses that

I swore beat in tune.

 

Illusions can shatter.

 

I remember warm sunlight,

a hole in the floor

where the water glowed green,

and "Is this all you want from me?"

Of course not--I wanted more.

 

The greedy shall suffer.

 

Then that cold night,

I ripped my heart out,

still but still-beating,

awakened by your touch . . .

I whispered something

better left unspoken . . .

expecting more than you could give--

you love no one.

You made that clear.

 

Clarity killed the dreamer.

 

I want that pressure back,

the urgency, the secrecy,

the lies that drifted

from your mouth to mine.

That locked heart,

the key beside it,

is tucked away--

always choking me,

strangling each breath

from my frost-bitten,

worry-cursed lips.

 

Enough is enough.

 

We were happy . . .

Weren't we?

You changed

for everyone else . . .

Why not me?

You lied,

and I forgave you.

You left,

and I welcomed you back

with open, eager,

war-mangled arms.

Can't you see the scars,

dancing across my veins?

Shed harsh fluorescent light

on the ghost of a heartbeat--

tell me what you see . . .

A masochist, maybe,

or a monster.

You were all I needed.

 

Once upon a time.

[Brandi27]

For anyone who's curious--

 

My ex-boyfriend somehow acquired the nickname 'Jesus' at some point in his life.

 

That should clear things up a bit.