Daylight Dims

[PurpleKitty]

Daylight dims

Night-time rules

This is always the way it is

The moon calls

 

I lay there watching

The stars so many

But yet so few

Alone and lost

 

Amongst the crowds

They shine and shout

Calling out

Wanting to be heard

 

They glitter and sparkle

Trying their best

To stand out from all the rest

Just wanting to be seen

 

Just wanting to be heard

Just wanting to be loved

Just wanting to be appreciated

They try their best

 

But they are no better than the rest

They gaze upon each other

Wanting a lover

But it is just a tease

 

For they don’t have anyone to please

A tear escapes my eye

I know their feelings

And all I can say is I tried

 

 

Can someone else help me fix this poem I think its crappy

[BlooodedRedRose]

I think its good & if i could help it i rlly cant c a way to fix it, keep up the good stuff

[Erasmas]

Damn, this is one of your best! No fixing needed! Beautifully well done, metaphor, writing and all. All you wimminz be out-writing me. XD +1

[PurpleKitty]

hahaha you really think so? thanks guys......I was half asleep when I wrote it lol xD

[Erasmas]

Yeah, I love it!