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Some call it crazy Some say it's sick But I think it's freedom The pain is fierce but quick Some say that it's a sin Just a little too risque' But it helps release the pain That I go through everyday The blade is sharp and cold As it runs across my skin Leaving me to ponder And decide how deep I cut in The icy chill running down my spine Makes me feel at ease I no longer feel like a coward Fucking up on everything with every breath I breathe But some days I want to stop Feeling like everything's wrong Trying to let go of the blade Sometimes I can but not for long It's like I'm addicted to the pain The feeling taking refuge in my veins Leaving me feeling confused and alone Wiping at the streaked tears that seem to be stained Burned into my skin forever Becoming a part that I cannot escape Sometimes I just want to hurt all over To scream at the top of my lungs until they break I want to escape from my sadness It's taking over me Why can't I just rest Why won't it let me be I just want to be free

I was in the top bunk of my bunk-bed when worms and snakes started appearing on my window. A couple worms were on my bed soon after. I played with them and when I looked back up at the window, I saw what I thought was an enormous snake! But, it had an iguana-like face. I tried to find my I-Pod and my MP3 but failed. So I just continued to watch the strange beast. When it moved out of sight, I ran downstairs super fast. In my kitchen, on the stove, was a random video recorder, but I decided against taking it because I had no clue how to use it. I got outside, to the porch, and found my mother's husband standing there with a few others. I race around to the side of the house. I then asked if anyone else had seen the iguana-faced beast. Dennis, my mother's husband, said that he saw it and had yelled to everyone else about it. He called it a "Pheonix". I turned slightly and saw, on a high and far away tree branch, sat another beast. This beast had wings. (I believe it was a pterodactyl.) I recorded it with my I-Pod that I somehow got a hold of when earlier I couldn't find it. It came swooping down towards me and when it hit the ground it attacked me! It was biting my legs and lower body like there was no tomorrow! I kept holding my I-Pod up and pointed down at the beast. I screamed for help many times, but even though everyone there was in a close enough proximity to help me, no one did. A huge, pink, doghouse-like building randomly materializes and in it are two people. The building was enough to distract the flying-beast and I was saved. The people that could have saved me walked over and the dream just... ended. o_O Insane, right?????? This was the dream I had this morning. What a great way to start the day, isn't it? XD

Life isn't sweet Its is nothing but weak my inner thoughts leaves me in a dark place i have little space voices tell me that my inner demons are coming I am summoning all my hate I love my I hateI hate my love Bright skies hurt my eyes my mind is demented madness is coming it takes insanity and makes and sanity I worship nothing i just respect all what people are afraid of my role model his name is Death Im crazy I know it but somehow I love it My heart I hate it it holds too much pain take the misery out it hurts too much dreams of destruction makes me smile dear demons of the underwold take me now!!! we shall take over all the land and leave it scared the world will become our blood bath it will drip off wallls humanity will be no more!! To bad all these thoughts are just from a dream. I know insanity has but no one is going to change me...

I wake up to hell, i listen to the screams, i hide from the shouts. i just have to get out my house. Walk to to bus stop, 15 minuets early the rain pours on my head. more and more wet i get. i have forgotern something... why go back now? 100ft down this damn road is hell, 10 minuets, i see the bully smokin a fag down the street. I sympathise the poor guy, the problems i know he chases i stand in the street 7:35am still dark. under the orange "sun" I'm a hooded angel, all broken and coverd in scars. i can't go to school crying. pull myself together, practise that smile, so fake... the cold burns my hands, i'm soaked with rainy tears. I dry my eyes, pull the warm closer. smile at the bully guy, he makes a rude remark. i smile. bitter smile. it's nothing to me. it's nothing like when the voices scream. 7:43am, the rest of the kids come down the street, sunshine bubbles, a little sleepy. Fear of the voices, i hear step back into the darkness, Wait with the sunshine i'm to good to have. 7:45am yellow lights round the bend, my fake life starts, the real one ends.