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I was so dumb. I was learning love. I was so broken. I thought you would fix me up. But the entire time, I placed my heart on the line. And you killed it for the moment. That's a lie. Because it takes longer than half the amount of time "we" were. See how I cringe at the word. And you didn't deserve a thing I said. I told myself that inside my head. But you were a boy. You did what boys do. You made me feel like shit. As if it were my fault. But you knew. So you answered my calls and let me cry. I still don't understand why. I swear I wouldn't have fell, If it weren't for your eyes. I vaguely remember Valentines day of 2010. Because I traced your name in the snow on my window sill high up above the ground. I made a silent wish that the thought would be found. And it was. And then it was thrown out of the window of a hippy van speeding fast. I bet it was the night after the dance. Because the memory of it was drained from my mind the second I left. And I racked my brain just to forget. I wrote you more letters than you really deserved. And I couldn't take a hint when you told me they were too long. I really only remember in bits and fucking pieces. I stood with a white flower in the stairwell, waiting. I'm not waiting anymore. I waited everyday. every. day. The memories of you are pretty hollow. They're fake. They're plastic in every form. I didn't know you. You never knew me. I was stupid. I was a dumb girl learning love. There was nothing. After a year of stalking, I left you alone. And if I ever come back to that cozy town to visit, Maybe I'll have the courage to see the gate to your house and keep out.