SuicideDoll Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) I don't even know how to begin this :/ I don't know how many times I've posted in this particular section.. I just know that when I get depressed for some reason I have this urge, almost a need but not exactly, to drink alcohol.. I didn't know where to put this on the forum. I don't want to become a drunk and now that I'm always depressed, it seems to be going that way. I don't know why I turn to drinking, maybe because I can't face myself.. I can't even begin to explain why I can't do that.. it's like the moment I get depressed I reach for a bottle because I can't find any other way to deal with myself. I'm not allowed to cut myself which was pretty much the only thing to bring me peace. I can just feel myself breaking down into a million pieces. My friends love that I drink but none of them have ever been drunk with me. I don't get angry or violent, no I get if anything, happy. I just don't want to be happy like this. I know that it isn't right. I know. There's just so much going on in my life that I've lost control of. I don't know why but I've started pushing everyone away. All my closest friends. Sometimes it's like I'm just watching from the inside helplessly. Sometimes I just don't feel like myself. I don't know what to do.......I can't get help because I can't face my mother' s disappointment. I just can't take it. Edited January 5, 2012 by JustLeaveMeAloneToDie
gypsy Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 I drink too...massive amounts. And i know what it feels like... Just the mum part is diff for me...my mum could care less. I could cut myself till i bled out nd she wuldnt care. Im more of a dissapointment to my best friend. He's gotten really sick of me lately. *sad* eh...i try drawing instead of reaching for a bottle it helps :/ nd ur not a drunk if u understand its wrong. My cousin told me.
thatguy Posted January 5, 2012 Posted January 5, 2012 what is wrong with you it's simple mind over matter and thats the end of it mental power will remove any addictions or anything you don't need rehab or AA it's all utter bullshit for the weak minded but anyway all you need is the mental power end of 1
SuicideDoll Posted January 10, 2012 Author Posted January 10, 2012 You wanna know the honest truth? I'm fucking WEAK
punk301 Posted January 10, 2012 Posted January 10, 2012 Listen that guy when it comes to alcohol there's no such thing as as mind over matter, alcoholism has been diagnosed as mental drug that can make certain people addicted, addiction is a very serious matter it starts by admitting your problem which you did that proves your not weak, now it comes to detox, it'll be hard bit I know your not weak, there's strength in you and its slowly slipping you need to find yourself find why you've been acting like this. Your not weak not weak at all my dear girl
punk301 Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Drinking is a horrible way to push your problems away, its how alcoholism is started!
Guest Danicide Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 Everything you've said makes sense. It's obiously a prob since you aren't comfotable with your drinking. But I'm honstly no help since I can't say much without getting mad at the ignorance of others who don't see alcohol and its PROVEN disease. As somebody with a family made of 100% addicts, it makes me sad that there's others out there who see it as a weakness. Ffs dear you're not weak!
Amz Posted January 12, 2012 Posted January 12, 2012 SOme of the most important descisions in life are the hardest. You need to tell your mother about your problem. It will be the best ting. If you continue to procrastinate and mope (not to be offensive in any sort of way) you are never going to solve your problem. Imagine if she found out furter in the future. Sooner is better then later. Good luck
SuicideDoll Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 SOme of the most important descisions in life are the hardest. You need to tell your mother about your problem. It will be the best ting. If you continue to procrastinate and mope (not to be offensive in any sort of way) you are never going to solve your problem. Imagine if she found out furter in the future. Sooner is better then later. Good luck lol I can mope all I want. I already told my mom and you know what she did? She beat me. Thanks for the tip. Really I know you were just trying to help.. everyday is Hell, everyday I'm a disappointment.... I live to please and when I cannot please then what good am i?
Guest Danicide Posted January 19, 2012 Posted January 19, 2012 Can't say i know what you're going through but i can say I know the feeling. Everything is wrong.
SuicideDoll Posted January 20, 2012 Author Posted January 20, 2012 Everything is wrong. I hate humanity.
NotYourAverageBitch Posted January 21, 2012 Posted January 21, 2012 i drink too. it helps............. ( want to know wat im talking about, add me as a friend and comment me)
SuicideDoll Posted February 3, 2012 Author Posted February 3, 2012 It's like everytime I get depressed(everyday) I just turn to my alcohol and it calms me, But my boyfriend's mother was an alcoholic and she died because of it. He says he'd hate to see me go like that. I told him I don't want to be like this, I've never wanted to be like this it's just, alot of the time I don't feel like I'm in control of my life, I feel weak....
xdeadshakespearex Posted February 17, 2012 Posted February 17, 2012 I just don't know.... I used to have a problem I used to cut myself when i was mad or could not controll my emotions but i got addicted to it yes i was f***ed up in the head but i thought there was no other way out. but in the end i stopped because my boyfriend asked me not to so i stopped it was alot harder but if you have someone by your side you can do anythink so hang in there. if you need someone to talk to let me know. ill help anyone I can i already lost a friend to drinking and i will not let that happen to anyone if i can help.
SuicideDoll Posted February 18, 2012 Author Posted February 18, 2012 I've had control recently because my brother is finally coming back home but it's really hard. I still cut myself but hey, one step at a time, right??
xdeadshakespearex Posted February 20, 2012 Posted February 20, 2012 Yep keep your mind on the prize and baby steps will get you where you want to go. and remember ill be here if you need a friend
SuicideDoll Posted February 22, 2012 Author Posted February 22, 2012 Gracias senor Shakespeare. Much appreciated, all of you. I'm trying to simply work out when I feel depressed. I figure working out will be more productive I'm trying
AnAlienAmongUs Posted May 27, 2012 Posted May 27, 2012 i can careless on drinking :/ i fucking hate drunks......sorry for all the ppl on here that drinks....thats my opinion so deal with it xD
XxPocketSizedEmoVampirexX Posted May 29, 2012 Posted May 29, 2012 i dont like drunks but i wanna drink
xXDead_SilenceXx Posted May 31, 2012 Posted May 31, 2012 Using acohol or drugs wont solve you problem. It actually makes it worse. Try talking to someone you really trust.
AnAlienAmongUs Posted June 1, 2012 Posted June 1, 2012 i agree, wen i used to smoke i thot it would take all my problems way but it doesnt it makes me worry even more then i already was....just makes things worse for me.....talking to a person that you trust actually helps, ever since i started talking to my friend that i trust about my problems, ive ben doing alot better and i thank that person for being there for me.... doing drugs and drinking is just a waist of time :/ glad i stopped..
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