Mommy.

[Nevar]

There was a girl, crazed look in her eyes. So much had happened throughout  her life. 

Mommy on drugs, daddy always away. Growing up fast, struggling with the pressure.                       

There was a girl so innocent and sweet. Only a matter of time and she'd start to be beat.

Home everyday to the lectures and screaming. "Go get changed and start the cleaning!"                                            

Momma always said work comes     before school. Slowly her grades plumeted to 0.2.

Mommy's a drunk now and she never sees dad. Different men being brought home, moms new lovers she assumes.

They start out alright but as time goes by, they are just as abusive as mommy.. Its a never ending fucking fight!

Mom not coming home for multiple nights, leaving her kids but to her it's alright.

Not that they minded because that was their break, but when she came home wasted as ever. Things would get bad and it never gets better.

Guilt trips pulled, it's all their fault. Never the moms.. isn't she supposed to be the adult?                

There was a girl so hurt and broken. Filled inside with countless emotions.

She thought about so many things she should say. But when it came down to it in her mind it remaind.

Downhill the further she went, imprisoned in her own self resentment.

Depression, Anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorders were next. Then came self mutilation through various ways. 

Suicidal thoughts became an everyday thing. Contemplating death, isn't it a beautiful thing?  

Here she grew into a  sad excuse for a person. Here she's wondering if life is even worth it.

The pain, the anger, the hopeless feelings. Is this temporary or a permanent thing?

Does it get better or is this how it remains? Does this nightmare ever have a happy ending?

Will mommy get better, will she get to see dad? Can she be happy, can she put it in the past?

Only time can tell how this story will end, and that is how her story begins.

Edited January 25, 2018 by Nevar

[TriggersandBullets]

Indeed. 

[Nevar]

On 1/29/2018 at 6:16 AM, TriggersandBullets said:

Indeed. 

Indeed? Aha..

[TriggersandBullets]

Just quite heartbreaking

[TriggersandBullets]

Just now, TriggersandBullets said:

Just quite heartbreaking

By that I mean, I grew up much of the same ways. I was molested,  my mom wasn't shhh-- and I always felt like no one understood me. Ten years later, I have been diagnosed with PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.... I attempted twice, and self-mutilate, occasionally.   

My head isn'ta place to be. This is the only way I describe it best: