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My mother's lips move but all I hear is thunder The hollow sound of her heavy smile mimics laughter As it echoes far away in my head I run outside, her memories chasing me The rain kissing my barbed-wire skin With ice, creating a new layer of fragility Over my glass-cut suit of armor Lightning laces the sky and shocks my heart Destroying every reminder of staying strong The salt of the rain creates a river of emptiness Revealing who it is I look like for the first time I am too shy to cry in front of the mirrors That drown me in her yesterdays, those reflections Whose eyes I try desperately to avoid The same way my older brother looks away from me And when mourning comes once again I have to refrain from using the jagged edges Of broken silhouettes to cut off my face and remove The burden of wearing the woman I didn't love enough

Why am I queit? Bc Im sad I've been through mostly bad... I walk with my head down I wear a frown... I try hiding this side... No longer filled with pride... I'm starting to fade Into darkness Broken and heartless.. I'm just a fucking mess.. No one knows what's wrong I've been trough this for so long I try to talk about it But I lose it... My throat clenched... Tears filling my eyes I start to cry... I don't want it to show I dont want you to know.. The pain is just to strong I can no longer hold on.. Fake smiles or none at all... I feel so fucking small... I run from my fears And worry about the things near.. It's harder to focus for a while As I try to put on a smile.. I have no ones shoulder to cry on All my happiness is gone. I cry and start feeling sick It feels like in my heart there's a sharp stick.. How long will this go on? I can't stay strong. I'm way to weak I dont want to speak.. I look in the mirror The tears coming nearer.. My eyes all red The sadness I dread.. The tears stream down my face As I lose my place.. Why am I crying? I feel like dieing. What's wrong with me Happiness is what I can't see.. I used to be happy and energetic Now I'm just pathetic... I used to be crazy and wound But then I start falling to the ground.. Depression I found.. Now I'm dark Stuck here with no heart... Quiet and alone No one to pull me home.. I'm so much different you see This isn't the real me.. Calling me names Bc I'm mean You haven't seen... You don't know I'm depressed I'm just a big mess... I try not to show No one can know... But the pain is pouring out I want to scream and shout This isn't what I'm all about. The pain inside The tears I cry... As I slowly die... You'd still never know... Why this side of me starts to show. Distractions only last so long Soon I'll be gone... I hold it in a day And cry when people go away... Fine one minute Gone the next I'm an emotional wreck Nothing but a mess... Why do we love the people that cause us pain.. It drives me insane... I'll do whatever it takes To be the mistake You can't live without... You know my name Not my story You know what I've done Not what I've been through. Happiness straight from the bottle When real life's to hard to swallow. You left me here Like a chalkoutline On the sidewalk Waitin for the rain To wash away... Loving the ones I Miss That made me feel like shit The way you made me feel The pain never heals You go through my mind All the time I hope you come back But in my heart there's a big long crack.. Al these dreams washed away Happiness doesn't stay... Tears stream down my face Ive lost my place Lieing here in darkness Broken and heartless Alone and lost.. My chance is in the past Nothing good ever lasts... Walking with my head down Music is the only sound... I'm not in the mood I'm covered in wounds.. I don't want to talk just go away I'm really not okay.. You see the look in my eyes The tears I cry.. Ask me what's wrong You'd never understand I'm stuck Sinking in this sand... Someone give me a hand and help me move.. Happiness is what I lose.. Falling and hitting the floor I have nothing more... Words fall music speaks... I'm way to weak... Someone help me back on my feet.. Bit by bit things start to fall apart What once is my heart is crushed And this pain is sharp.. Sometimes I don't even know what's wrong I've been hiding it in all along. Cry for no reason Alone through the seasons... I need help But no one hears my yelp... These crazy thoughts go through my mind.. Happiness is something I can't find. Words unsaid That familiar pound In my head There's no light I'm filled with fright... All these thoughts day and might I've lost the fight Done holding on Everything is gone...

I remembered ur walk The way you talk The sound of your voice... But I'm not your choice... You look at me like you have something to say.. But then you just walk away. It's really annoying It pisses me off. All my happiness is lost. Fuck this fuck that Go to hell I'll do the same as well.. Dreams washed away There's nothing to say. Lying here in darkness Broken and heartless.

Broken He left me destroyed {In pieces} He left me crushed {In pieces} He left me broken {AND IN PIECES!!!} (Chorus) Shattered heart Broken beyond repair Everything about me is broken My heart My soul My life My world And everything I touch becomes broken too I've never been repaired. I've never been fixed. I'll always be broken Unless you can fix me {Unless you can love me} (Chorus) Shattered heart Broken beyond repair Everything about me is broken My heart My soul My life My world And everything I touch becomes broken too So, Despite all this, Would you, Could you, try to fix me? Even if my heart, my soul, my life, my world Is broken? -------------------------------------------- Copyright Infinite Questions (IQ) Seriously, what do you all think of these songs? I NEEEEEEEEEED to know!!!!!!! Omg give me a cookie, somebody! No! Give me ur feedback everybody PLZ! I'm dyin' ova here... Grr.

Broken seashells- scattered 'round Broken seashells- on the ground- In the sand, and in my heart Close to the waves in which they part Broken Seashell 'round my neck Broken Seashell on the deck the watchman shouts- Profainities stream! seashells crushed by crewmens' screams. Broken Seashell- pretty still Broken seashells - in my will.

I was so dumb. I was learning love. I was so broken. I thought you would fix me up. But the entire time, I placed my heart on the line. And you killed it for the moment. That's a lie. Because it takes longer than half the amount of time "we" were. See how I cringe at the word. And you didn't deserve a thing I said. I told myself that inside my head. But you were a boy. You did what boys do. You made me feel like shit. As if it were my fault. But you knew. So you answered my calls and let me cry. I still don't understand why. I swear I wouldn't have fell, If it weren't for your eyes. I vaguely remember Valentines day of 2010. Because I traced your name in the snow on my window sill high up above the ground. I made a silent wish that the thought would be found. And it was. And then it was thrown out of the window of a hippy van speeding fast. I bet it was the night after the dance. Because the memory of it was drained from my mind the second I left. And I racked my brain just to forget. I wrote you more letters than you really deserved. And I couldn't take a hint when you told me they were too long. I really only remember in bits and fucking pieces. I stood with a white flower in the stairwell, waiting. I'm not waiting anymore. I waited everyday. every. day. The memories of you are pretty hollow. They're fake. They're plastic in every form. I didn't know you. You never knew me. I was stupid. I was a dumb girl learning love. There was nothing. After a year of stalking, I left you alone. And if I ever come back to that cozy town to visit, Maybe I'll have the courage to see the gate to your house and keep out.

The night’s getting colder, And at the same time darker. Is my heart getting weaker? Are my doubts growing stronger? We’ve been through hell and back. And that only proves a fact. That our love for each other’s true. It was you and only you. Remember when my heart wasn’t in pieces? That day I gave you twelve roses. Saying I’ll love you ‘til the last rose dies. That day, there were no lies. Once more fate plays with us again Killing rose number eleven. It makes me wonder if the last one’s fake Will it die? Will it break? This poem was made for my love, Roweann. It's some sort of goodbye poem.. :/ (Ran = I used to call her that)

Torn moments, Which have been sewn by fragile and uncertain fingers Brief flashes of a more simple and carefree time appear within those moments Ambiguous smiles tinged with anger and pride Are also apparent there. Nible and yet graceful at how the moments soon fall into pieces Matching and alining A patch of disappointment, and a stitch of despair, all becoming clear as the fingers cease to move The quilt of secrets unveiled, Revealing a life time of bottled rage, a broken razor to heal those wounds, inflicted by a day of masks, and a night of tears. The crusty eyes of depression open to another day, The same face of... Happiness.